Lesson 10 - When Pain is Good

Today, my eye stung.  Thank the Lord, my eye stung.  The last few days my mind has been wandering and I have struggled to live in the moment and to serve in the here and now.  I knew intuitively that as my mind traveled to the future and struggled to grasp my purpose, I was moving out of the will of God.  He calls me into relationship with Him in the eternal now: walking in love.  There are no rituals I need to perform.  There are no things I need to accomplish.  In all things, trust Him, and love others.

This was far easier to do today because I was in pain.  My selfish mind did not have the luxury to worry about the future but instead was focused on the here and now, all thanks to a silly stinging eye.  It was a struggle today but my heart was more aligned with His will.  I did not wallow in not being 100% but focused my energies on teaching the children through my pain.  Honestly, I think this was my best day as a teacher so far at the school.  My eyes were watering and I struggled to focus my vision on anything, and through that God gave me the strength to teach my butt off.

I remember when I was playing intramural basketball in college.  One game I played through a mildly sprained foot.  Every step I took, I felt pain.  Through it, I played maybe my best intramural basketball game ever, which is probably not saying too much, but still.  My attention was so focused on my present pain,that it allowed me to be completely in the moment. 

As I went through my day, I was thinking of Paul’s teaching in being content with all things and being able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:11-13).   I was thankful for just having the energy and opportunity to teach those children.  For some reason, through pain, it was so much easier to have that attitude and not succumb as much to selfishness.  I think God can use pain for good if you let Him. What was so inspiring about the life of Paul was not just his amazing teachings but also the attitude he was able to cultivate through all His sufferings.  As a result, his words had far more weight to the early church.

He writes of his sufferings:

…In labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prison more frequently, in deaths often.  From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one.  Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of water, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness – besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concerns for all the churches. (2 Corinthians 11: 23-28)

If you think by following Jesus that the circumstances of your life will becomes easier, read that paragraph again.  If you think following Jesus will make your life more comfortable, read that paragraph again. 

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.(2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. (Philippians 4:11)

If Paul can learn to be content through all his unimaginably painful trials, then we certainly can as well in whatever we face.  We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  Are you with me?

Juan at the Tienda

Close by Café Mingo, the place I call my home, is a tiny tienda (store).  There are no big grocery stores here, but instead hundreds of tiny little tiendas.  The owner of the store is a big guy named Juan.  I frequent his store often to see how he is doing.  He is a professing Christian and attends church at the Church of God.  He worked in the United States for years, making around $8 per hour working 12 hour days in corn fields in Ohio.  As he talks to me, he reminisces about his time in the U.S.  That money goes a long way down here and his thoughts are always about returning back.  He has a family in Nebaj but his dream is to go to the United States and work.  There are many starry eyed people down here who think that the United States will solve all their problems.  In their minds, it is a paradise.  I ask him if he prays about whether God wants him to go back to the United States.  He looks confused, like the idea is a foreign concept.  He then talks again about working in the United States.  He wants help with a work visa, he says. 

While there are many professing Christians, few live Christ like lives.  Greed is prevalent.  People here think their lives will be better with more land, more money, more things.  They must find it funny that somebody living their dream in the United States would come down to Guatemala thinking life would be better and easier with LESS.  I wish they would see that contentment does not reside in things, but only in the blessings of God.  Never having experienced having more than enough, it is a hard concept for them to grasp.  Likewise, it is hard for me to grasp what it would be like to live with as little as they have on a daily basis.  Like so many of us, they focus on worldly things to bring them happiness.  Meanwhile, they go to Church like good Guatemalan Christians on Sundays.

While Guatemala is heavily evangelized, the root is very shallow.  In the United States, it seems the seed is sown among thorns and the worries and cares of the world choke it out.  In Guatemala, the seed seems more planted in shallow soil.  Lets pray for them to go deeper and seek after God and not things.  

Around the Corner to Chajul

 The microbus dropped me off in Cotzal.  Here I was.  I have been using my Saturdays as exploration days.  I did not know where I was going to go today.  I decided to walk down a road near Cotzal to see where it went.  It ended on a main road that went toward Santa Avelina.  I had already been down that way so I found another road that veered off the other direction and I walked down that road instead.  I came to an intersection and I had no idea where I was.  I asked a guy that happened to be there and discovered I was at the main road that would take me to Cotzal in one direction or Chajul in the other direction.  I was right next to Cotzal and I had basically walked in a circle.  I asked if there were any villages on the way to Chajul, and he told me there was one about 15 minutes away.  That peeked my curiosity and I began walking toward Chajul.

Chajul in distance

It was all uphill at the start and I had probably been walking for 30 minutes at a brisk pace before spotting the village he was talking about: Batzmul.  Before walking down to explore the tiny village, I climbed up a boulder that happened to be at the top of the hill.  From there, the view was astounding.  I could see miles down the road Chajul way out in the distance.  I also spotted another little village before reaching Chajul.  I sat there for almost an hour.  I did not want to leave that spot.  Sometimes, when life is good, it’s hard to keep moving, but we have to continue down the road God has laid out for us.  So curiosity got the better of me and I continued down the road.  At this point I had decided to walk all the way to Chajul several miles more through the mountains, it was such a beautiful day!  I noticed a trail leading off the road before descending toward Batzmul.  I hiked up and up and up, only to discover somebody was raising Bees.  They swarmed everywhere and decided not to explore that trail any further.

Batzul

I walked into Batzmul.  It is always very awkward walking into these tiny villages as a Gringo.  It seems one appearance of a Gringo is the talk of these towns for a week.  Some hide in their houses.  Kids will yell “gringo, gringo!”  I explored a tiny bit and talked a little with a few of the people and then I was on my way.

As I walked farther down the road away from Batzmul, I noticed many locals walking the other direction.  I then came across a park where a church service had ended.  They were packing up and heading home.  I talked with one of the young men there and got the story.  The Church of God from Batzmul and the Church of God from Vitzuchuj, the other tiny village a mile or two further along the road, meet for some services as one church body in the park.  I thought that was absolutely beautiful.

Vitzuchuj

I then walked up and up and up, to that tiny village with an incredible view, Vitzuchuj.  What an amazing place to live!  The people in this village were so nice and welcoming.  At the tienda, when I told them I was from the United States, one girl screamed and ran out of the store.  Apparently she is afraid of the U.S. because it’s so far away.  There are 35 families in this village.  At the main part of town is a school, a tienda, and a church.

In Chajul

After my half hour visit, I continued on my way, the last leg of my journey to Chajul.  It was only about another thirty minutes of walking before I came to the outskirts of Chajul.  I continued up and up (it seems all walking here is up for some reason) until I was in the main part of Chajul.  I had done it.  A sense of accomplishment radiated through me.  I had only wanted to see what was a little further down a road in Cotzal and I ended up walking clear to Chajul! 

“It’s a dangerous business, Jordo, going out your door, you step out onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you’ll get swept off to.” – Bilbo Baggins  

:)

Two Days - Down and back up

Yesterday, I was defeated.  I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed my culture.  I was caught up in a sorrowful fog.  I have trouble communicating these things with my fellow teachers.  Communicating in Spanish feels like so much work sometimes, where could I begin to describe how I was feeling?  They do not understand the culture where I come from and how difficult it can be some days adjusting to this one.  I felt I had nobody to rely on and honestly during the day I kind of just wanted to go back to Nebaj and cry.  I had hit a low point.  But God works through our low points.  

The oddest thing began to snap me out of it, I passed by a drunk woman that was passed out on the sidewalk.  Everybody walked around her and nobody stopped for her.  People here are used to seeing drunk people passed out on busy sidewalks.   I was one of those people walking by, I just wanted to go home, close the door, and feel sorry for myself.  Some missionary I was huh?  So I did and then I prayed.  Suddenly I knew I had to go back out to where the drunk woman was laying.  I walked over and sat next to her on the busy sidewalk.  I nudged her a few times to see if she would wake up.  She didn’t.  I then stood up and went on my way with the intention of checking on her later.  Even though the passed out drunk woman will never know I checked on her, it felt freeing, and I felt I was walking in Him again.  It was not a comfortable thing to do, as people pointed and laughed at me for stopping.  But I knew it was the right thing to do, we are all His children no matter how low we get.  

After that, I bought a basketball for the school and bought a couple of English-Spanish dictionaries to give to people.  As I focused on others and not on myself, my mood began to change.  When I got back, I called my mom.  It was so encouraging to talk with her and after that, I felt like myself again.

Today was completely different.  It is hard to explain this, but today, the cultural barriers did not seem like barriers.  Yes, I am different from them, with a much different background than they could ever imagine.  Yes, I will never know what it is like to grow up and know only the Ixil culture.  However, none of that seemed to matter today.  We are all unique and all were given our particular races to run.  At heart though, we are all brothers and sisters and love binds even the most different of us together.  

Today, schools from the Cotzal area came to some fields outside of town for a Soccer tournament.  It lasted four hours and it was kind of boring.  There was a lot of waiting and both games ended in 0-0 scores before the penalty kicks.  But I loved every minute of it.  I didn’t mind the boredom, I just loved supporting those kids.  I loved when they huddled around me and sang English songs.  I loved when they gave me high fives.  I loved when they came over to stand by me.   Cultural barriers did not matter, love ruled the day. 

 A little later in the day, I had a wonderful Bible study with one of the teachers in the park.  Communication was difficult but it did not seem to matter too much, not on this victorious day!  As we were studying, children came over (a frequent occurrence) and I asked them if they had read the Bible.  They said no and asked me what was in it with a child like curiosity.  They attended the Catholic church but had no idea what the Bible says about Jesus.   Very few people here read the Bible for themselves.  How wonderful it would be if the majority of the people in this supposedly Christian village read the Bible!  That is a good dream.  

Lord, thank you for answering my prayer and helping me to connect.  Even in the most difficult days, love conquers all.  Lord, when my focus turns inward again, remind me what I need to do.  Loving others is loving You.  Lord, I pray for the community of Cotzal, lead them in the way they should go.  Knock on the doors of their hearts and reveal Your truth to them.  Inspire them to read Your Word for themselves  and unite them in Your name.  A men.        

Lesson 9: Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy

This morning I am reminded of one of my favorite all time you tube clips from Louis CK.  He was on Conan talking about how spoiled this new generation is and how we all take things for granted.  As far as I know, he is an atheist, but he shares some unbelievable truth.  No matter how many things we acquire, no matter how many opportunities we receive, we are never happy.  There is always something to complain about and always something we feel we need to strive for to fulfill our lives.  The things of this world never bring contentment, no matter how much we have.  

I had some great discussion today with a short team from the United States.  One of them posed to Domingo, born and raised in the Ixil region of Guatemala: “What are the things you noticed when you came to study in the United States for the first time?”  

Domingo replied: “Oh man, all the opportunities.  There was so much opportunity.  Also, when I ate at restaurants and people only ate a little of their food and the rest was thrown into the garbage.   This was unbelievable to me because we never had that much food. “

While it is true people in the United States do not recognize all the opportunities and abundance we have, he switched it around and said the same is true of Guatemalans.

“When I was in Canada, there was frost on the ground 7 months out of the year.  But still, there was abundance, they used that land and grew food for themselves.  In Guatemala, we can grow things 365 days out of the year, but people live in poverty and do not recognize the opportunity that is here.  This land is beautiful and can be used tourism and for so many things.  Sometimes Kara and I want to go out for a hike because the mountains are so beautiful, people here do not see that.”

Why are we never satisfied with what we have?  One of the guys said one time he pondered all day why, of all things, Adam and Eve realized they were naked after eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  The thing God pressed on him was the two commandments Jesus said satisfied all the law.  

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

In these things you do not look at yourself or your happiness but in loving God and others.  After eating the fruit, Adam and Eve realized they were naked because their focus had turned inward.  They saw themselves.  No longer did love govern their actions, but selfishness.  

What does this have to do with nobody being content with what they have?  Everything.  Just the act of seeking happiness for ourselves is a selfish ambition.  In true love, there is no self seeking.

Love does not seek its own (1 Corinthians 13:5)

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.   And we also ought to lay down our lives for our brethren. (1 John 3:16)

For whoever desires to save his live will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it (Matthew 16:25)

No matter how much we have, we will never be satisfied if we keep seeking things for ourselves.  I spend a lot of time pondering my purpose and this also is self seeking.  I want God to reveal a role for me that I will be happy in, and while this can masquerade as holiness, it is also selfish.  When I pray to the Lord about these things, the response is always something along the lines of “lay down your life.”  This includes my purpose because it is not about me.  It is about God.  It is His purpose I should be concerned about.  I could spend my whole life seeking after this purpose that would fulfill my life, and in the end accomplish nothing.  Instead, on a daily basis, I could love God.  I could love others.  This is what the He tells us to do through His word.  It is not that complicated, yet our sins of looking inward greatly distract us and lead us into confusion.

Do you seek your own happiness in this life or have you completely laid it down?  Are you truly content and thankful for what you have or do you still strive for more?  Can you pray this prayer?

Lord, we give You our lives.  Thank you for everything You have given us, yet we would leave it all to follow You.  We do not seek after our own happiness, but instead desire to love others.

Can you pray that prayer honestly?  Me neither.  Lets continue.

Lord, but You know our hearts and know we are not yet at that place.  Forgive us Lord, do not give up on us, but continue to shape us through our failures in our walk.  We are selfish to the core, rescue us from ourselves!  Teach us!  Lead us!  Lord, the world overwhelms us!   Help us not to look there for fulfillment, but to Your kingdom.  Show us how to love You.  Show us how to love others.  Thank you for all the amazing blessings you have bestowed upon us, thank you for being patient with us, and thank you forYour amazing grace.  Without You, we are nothing.  

A  Men.

Adventure Saturday

Mark came knocking on my door at 7:40.  Our plan was to take the 8:00 micro bus to Cotzal and then after that, who knows?  We opened up the Word, had a quick study and prayer time, and we were off.  The micro bus was crowded with 4 people hanging off the back.  After we stopped and let some people out, I saw one guy climb down from the roof.  At this point, when stuff like this happens, I just smile and shake my head.  This is Guatemala.  I love it.  

In Cotzal, Mark wanted to walk through the Saturday morning market.  People come from all over the surrounding villages to buy and sell at this market.  The chicken busses bring them early in the morning and then stay parked throughout the day, waiting until the early afternoon, when the people return to their villages.  I am personally not a fan of the markets because of the crowds of people and having to duck through so many tarps.  Mark likes it because you can buy almost any sort of produce that is growable around the region.

After the market, I decided it would be nice to pay a visit to the Jorai Bible Institute to see what was happening.  So much of what I do here in my spare time is just showing up to places and seeing what God has for me.  This day, Diego Perez, the President of the Bible Institute, and someone I had not talked with before, was there.  So I sat in his office, gave him a brief interview, and we talked.  I talked with him about the land and the possibility of the school we support, Colegio Horeb, using that land and building a school there.  It was a good conversation and am looking forward to talking with him again.

We then decided to walk to Ojo de Agua, an hour walk from Cotzal, to see what was there.  I had heard there was a Compassion program in Ojo de Agua only a few days ago when I was visiting with the Compassion program in Cotzal.  That program was not running on Saturday, unfortunately, but on the way, I called my Dad, to see if any knew of any contacts in Ojo de Agua.  He told me to talk with BaltizarChijoy, who he did not have time to talk with much on his last visit here.  Baltizar is a graduate from Jorai and is a Pastor of 100 people in his tiny village.  When we arrived, after asking a villager, we found the house of Baltizar.  However, he was not there, but in Cotzal.  He was going to arrive on the bus from the market.  So we explored.  Mark is interested in the agricultural practices of the region and we walked out of the main part of the village a ways and into the fields of peas and corn.  

The chicken bus that goes back and from Ojo de Agua Cotzal makes three trips.  It is a miracle this bus runs as it looks like it was on its last legs 30 years ago.  It is the only form of public transportation and it only makes trips on Saturdays to go the Cotzal market.  Baltizar was not on the first two trips on the bus from Cotzal.  However, his wife was, and went back with us on the bus to meet with him in Cotzal.  We talked at literally the same tienda where we started our walk.  We learned that he was adding on to his church and construction would begin in April.  I told him I was talking to him on behalf of my dad who was unable to talk much with him on his last visit.  He was thankful and asked for support in constructing a temple.

Afterward we had lunch at Comedor and then walked to a park that is on the way out of Cotzal.  It is in the country set up above a river in the mountains.  At the park is a place where people come to pray and a big green field.  We came to relax and relax we did.  We layed in silence for an hour or more.  A few thoughts floated in and out of my brain but mostly I was just still.  It was a beautiful sunny day and I listened to the whistling of the birds, the sounds of nature, the far off sounds of people.  I felt so at peace.  

Then we walked back to the center of town to wait on a microbus to take us back to Nebaj.  We arrived at 4:30 but no bus came until 6:00.  While that may seem like a huge inconvenience, I love this part of the culture.  It forces you to wait, reflect, and go deeper with people.   Waiting is a way of life here.  We had some great conversation.  Finally a bus came with loudspeakers on the top.  There was a man in the bus reading the Bible in Spanish and then translating in Ixil as the message was proclaimed through the loud speakers.  To our astonishment, this bus was going to Nebaj.  This was our first time on a Bible bus!  Mark and I just laughed.  This is Guatemala.  I love it.

Public school in Ojo de Agua

Lesson 8: No Worries

Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life… (Matthew 6:25)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7)

Worry and anxiety is attempting to control your own life or others lives when you have no control (a rather pointless exercise if you think about it).  It is holding on to something that you do not want to give and trust God for.  In essence, one part of denying yourself is giving up the need to control your own life by giving your worries to God and trusting Him for what is best.  

I am a worrier.  This may surprise some people, who see me as some sort of care free, laid back dude.  But I worry about my future.  I am constantly trying to plan out what my life will look like years down the road, trying to create my own heaven on Earth if you will.  I worry about making the wrong decisions and blowing my life, as if I am the center of the universe and somehow my decisions will affect the plans and will of God.  That is all of course complete nonsense and I know that intellectually.  At a heart level though, I struggle with these worries.

Then I read what Jesus says in Matthew 6:34: Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things, sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What a statement!  It sounds so easy and simple, yet I have not met one person who is able to follow this teaching.  But Jesus is pretty clear on the subject of worrying: Don’t!  This does not mean we can not have visions for the future, but we should not worry or excessively think about those visions.  We should give them to God and pray with thanksgiving about it.  We have to trust that God’s plans will come to pass regardless of what we do.  When our own plans are thwarted, do we trust God has something better in mind?  Do we live for our plans or God’s plans?

Solomon writes in Proverbs:

There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel, that will stand (Proverbs 19:21)

A man’s steps are of the Lord; how then can a man understand his own way? (Proverbs 20:24)

If we put our trust in God, we should not worry about our own way, because it is selfish and not of God.  Worrying about God’s way is pointless because He is God!  Do you live with that kind of trust?  Me neither.  But, oh, that God would continue to knock on the doors of our hearts until we can completely surrender our ways to His ways. 

After telling the Philippian church to not worry, Paul gives an alternative to worrying:

Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Rather than selfishly worrying, what is something true, noble, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, or praiseworthy that you can thank God for instead?  He has given us so much already to rejoice in, but instead we look days, weeks, years ahead and worry about our future.  Instead of worrying today, praise the Lord for what He has given you!

And still a little later, he writes: I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content (Philippians 4:11)

Lord, cultivate in us a thankful attitude.  We are all your children.  Help us to not worry about our futures but delight in You and in our inheritance.  Help us not to see ourselves as more important than we are, but humble us.  Lord, remind us of what you have done for us, so we can give you thanks for everything, always.

A Men.