Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Writings

Two Days - Down and back up


Yesterday, I was defeated.  I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed my culture.  I was caught up in a sorrowful fog.  I have trouble communicating these things with my fellow teachers.  Communicating in Spanish feels like so much work sometimes, where could I begin to describe how I was feeling?  They do not understand the culture where I come from and how difficult it can be some days adjusting to this one.  I felt I had nobody to rely on and honestly during the day I kind of just wanted to go back to Nebaj and cry.  I had hit a low point.  But God works through our low points.  

The oddest thing began to snap me out of it, I passed by a drunk woman that was passed out on the sidewalk.  Everybody walked around her and nobody stopped for her.  People here are used to seeing drunk people passed out on busy sidewalks.   I was one of those people walking by, I just wanted to go home, close the door, and feel sorry for myself.  Some missionary I was huh?  So I did and then I prayed.  Suddenly I knew I had to go back out to where the drunk woman was laying.  I walked over and sat next to her on the busy sidewalk.  I nudged her a few times to see if she would wake up.  She didn’t.  I then stood up and went on my way with the intention of checking on her later.  Even though the passed out drunk woman will never know I checked on her, it felt freeing, and I felt I was walking in Him again.  It was not a comfortable thing to do, as people pointed and laughed at me for stopping.  But I knew it was the right thing to do, we are all His children no matter how low we get.  

After that, I bought a basketball for the school and bought a couple of English-Spanish dictionaries to give to people.  As I focused on others and not on myself, my mood began to change.  When I got back, I called my mom.  It was so encouraging to talk with her and after that, I felt like myself again.

Today was completely different.  It is hard to explain this, but today, the cultural barriers did not seem like barriers.  Yes, I am different from them, with a much different background than they could ever imagine.  Yes, I will never know what it is like to grow up and know only the Ixil culture.  However, none of that seemed to matter today.  We are all unique and all were given our particular races to run.  At heart though, we are all brothers and sisters and love binds even the most different of us together.  

Today, schools from the Cotzal area came to some fields outside of town for a Soccer tournament.  It lasted four hours and it was kind of boring.  There was a lot of waiting and both games ended in 0-0 scores before the penalty kicks.  But I loved every minute of it.  I didn’t mind the boredom, I just loved supporting those kids.  I loved when they huddled around me and sang English songs.  I loved when they gave me high fives.  I loved when they came over to stand by me.   Cultural barriers did not matter, love ruled the day. 

 A little later in the day, I had a wonderful Bible study with one of the teachers in the park.  Communication was difficult but it did not seem to matter too much, not on this victorious day!  As we were studying, children came over (a frequent occurrence) and I asked them if they had read the Bible.  They said no and asked me what was in it with a child like curiosity.  They attended the Catholic church but had no idea what the Bible says about Jesus.   Very few people here read the Bible for themselves.  How wonderful it would be if the majority of the people in this supposedly Christian village read the Bible!  That is a good dream.  

Lord, thank you for answering my prayer and helping me to connect.  Even in the most difficult days, love conquers all.  Lord, when my focus turns inward again, remind me what I need to do.  Loving others is loving You.  Lord, I pray for the community of Cotzal, lead them in the way they should go.  Knock on the doors of their hearts and reveal Your truth to them.  Inspire them to read Your Word for themselves  and unite them in Your name.  A men.        

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