About Tabita

Tabita is the Director of HOREB, the school in Cotzal where I will be teaching.  At the close of my dad's latest trip to Guatemala he writes of her:

"Her rock solid resolve to change a community for Jesus Christ is unwavering. Her story is made for TV – growing up without during a savage civil war; daughter of a prominent evangelical pastor who was executed for his beliefs when she was but 15. Beating the odds and escaping the chains of war and oppression. Getting educated in a culture that inhibits opportunity for women. Faced with choices, she defied the norm and decided to return to Cotzal – for the children; to lead the charge to provide a way up through education."

 Read more here.

God's Beauty in Ixil Country

Made with photos from my 3 months in Guatemala from January to April 2012.  The song is You're Beautiful by Proto Evangelion. 

How have I grown?

I sit here in transition mode.  This is only my second full day back at my apartment and I begin coaching tomorrow.  It feels completely normal and completely strange at the same time.  The world here is still exactly the same as when I left but I feel so different.  It feels like this place should have changed as much as I have the past three months.  I am a new person entering back into an old routine.  How does one do that?

I have spent my time thus far visiting with family: first on Lopez Island then in Yakima.  On my way back home, I stopped in Ellensburg to visit my cousin Ashley.  We had a brief visit and she got straight to the point.  Her first question she asked me is ¨What has been the biggest change in you after completing the trip?¨  It is hard to put into words.  I know the Lord has changed me and helped me grow through the experience but I can not exactly quantify what that is.  Words always feel so limiting in explaining soul issues. 

Growth happens whenever you go out of your comfort zone and choose to rely on God.  Instead of waking up and going through motions, I woke up and thanked the Lord for another day.  Whenever I felt a twinge of fear, I just put my life in His hands.  There were times walking down the dark streets of Nebaj, with drunks stumbling around, when I asked Him, ¨Lord, if you do not have any use for me, you can take me now but if You still have a use for me in this life, protect me.¨ As I prayed this prayer many times in my time there, I felt a sense of purpose each day that God gave me.  I was alive for a reason, a truth that was always there, but which I just began realizing. 

I was also taken aback by how much God provided for me while I was there.  First, there were the amazing supporters at home.  My goal was to raise $2,000 and $3,000 came in.  After only spending $1,500, I am pleased to say that the rest will go the school where I was working!  I came down to Guatemala really without much of a plan.  The Lord provided transportation to Nebaj through an Agros worker.  Then in Nebaj, He provided abundantly.  I don’t know what my trip would have looked like without Domingo, Kara, and Mark.  I met Domingo on my 2^nd day in Nebaj and he shared his ministries with me.  When he told me about the coffee shop ministry that he was planning, something sparked my interest.  As we went there and he was explaining the vision to me, I felt strongly the Holy Spirit leading me to stay there.  So they put a bed in a room in the corner and I was set.    

I shared much fellowship time with Domingo and Kara.  I ate at their house many, many times.  We played cards late into the night.  We had devotions together as they were preparing their coffee shop to open.  They opened their lives to me.  Mark was down for two months helping them out at the same time period that I was there.  We had several great conversations and went on a few adventures together.  They really helped keep me grounded and I know it was of the Lord’s doing.

In Cotzal, the people there were so hospitable and once again God provided abundantly.  Josue’s family went above and beyond.  I had lunch with their family most days of the week and spent the night at their house a few times.  It was known that I had an open invitation to their house.  I had lunch with Horeb Director Tabita nearly every Wednesday that I was there as well.

God provides and He knows your needs.  Sometimes it takes stepping out into the unknown and giving up control of your life to realize it.

The other thing that changed me was enmeshing myself into another culture.  I did not have a car, so I took the microbus everywhere, crammed in the van with 25 Guatemalans.  I ate inside people’s home, I taught at a school, and I walked among them.  I became good friends with a couple of the teachers at Horeb, which is astonishing considering our vast cultural differences.  On a surface level we do not have much in common, but on a soul level, God made us all and we are all His children.  This helps you realize just how vast and diversified God’s people are. 

My friends in Guatemala are constantly on my mind.  I pray for them and I know they pray for me too.  It is so exhilarating to feel part of His church on a global scale.  I think this journey helped me to realize just how vast and grand His church is.  It is one thing to know intellectually and another to know based on experience.  I am so excited to worship alongside all the nations in heaven.  There is something so amazing about having people so different from you worshiping and praying to the same never changing Lord.  How great and vast are His people!   

I have yet to mention all the children I taught.  I just love serving and offering my life for them.  They are a special group of kids.  On my last day, we stood in a circle, and one by one they came and brought gifts to me.  They were so appreciative and I was so humbled.  God used them to continue softening my heart.

Another thing I learned is that the life of a missionary is no different from the life of anybody else in the sense that people who serve as missionaries still stumble.  They still fall short.  They still have moments where they say or do the wrong thing and have to repent.  They are definitely not people to be idolized but people to be constantly praying for.  They are not more holy than anybody else.  As is seen throughout the Bible, God uses broken people.  It is God doing the work and if we let Him, He will use us.  We are the paintbrush in the hands of a skillful painter and the paintbrush has no right to boast.  Likewise, don’t praise the paintbrush for the wonderful work, praise the painter!

Anyway, I feel all this is only a glimpse into how I have changed, but that is all I have got right now. :)

A Night to Remember

I was in Cotzal to visit the Church of God, the church where most of the teachers and several students attend. I meet with fellow teacher and friend Mathias in the park before we head over to the church together. As we walk in and sit down, I recognize so many faces. Many students come up to me to say hello. I see many aquaintances that I have met on the streets. In a strange way, even though it is my first time at the church, it feels like home. Worship in evangelical Guatemalan churches are so much different than what I am used to in the United States, but I have grown more accustomed to it. People cry out to God. They are not afraid to be broken, to scream, you can hear their moans for the Lord. During prayers, everybody prays at once. Hundreds of voices lift up to the Lord, it is a humbling experience to be a part of. I pray silently to myself because this is the way I have prayed all my life.

A visiting preacher from Mexico gives the main message. He screams into the microphone, clearly passionate, but not sure if he understands he is hurting all or our eardrums. At the end of the service, they call a familiar name up to the front. It is one of the teachers and one of my good friends. People pray for her and this timid teacher accepts Christ in front of her huge congregation. While she has been going to the church for awhile and been walking in His ways, she has never "officially" accepted Christ in front of her church body until this moment. She is the only one from her Catholic family to do so. I am stunned and feel so much joy for her.

Afterward, Mathias and I walk to Josue's house as a huge thunderstorm rolled in. The storm feels like so many I have experienced in the midwest. The night air is warm and it makes me feel like a kid again. At Josue's house, I eat dinner with his family and we sing songs as the storm comes through, the rain pounding loudly on the tin roof.

At 9:00, I return to the church with Mathias and stay there until 12:30 at night. We fight sleep, barely able to keep ourselves awake as we join the congregation in worshiping and praying to the Lord. We walk back mostly in silence and I slip into the house at 1 AM, walking quietly, lest I wake up that wonderful family of nine sleeping in the same bed.

I walk upstairs and curl up in my private bed. The night air has turned cold and there is only one blanket so I sleep in my sweatshirt. But I am greatful for the wonderful hospitality of this family. They have adopted me as one of their own, always sharing their food with me throughout my time here, providing a bed when I need it. They never ask for anything in return. I close my eyes feeling at peace and fall asleep instantaneously.

Lesson 10 - When Pain is Good

Today, my eye stung.  Thank the Lord, my eye stung.  The last few days my mind has been wandering and I have struggled to live in the moment and to serve in the here and now.  I knew intuitively that as my mind traveled to the future and struggled to grasp my purpose, I was moving out of the will of God.  He calls me into relationship with Him in the eternal now: walking in love.  There are no rituals I need to perform.  There are no things I need to accomplish.  In all things, trust Him, and love others.

This was far easier to do today because I was in pain.  My selfish mind did not have the luxury to worry about the future but instead was focused on the here and now, all thanks to a silly stinging eye.  It was a struggle today but my heart was more aligned with His will.  I did not wallow in not being 100% but focused my energies on teaching the children through my pain.  Honestly, I think this was my best day as a teacher so far at the school.  My eyes were watering and I struggled to focus my vision on anything, and through that God gave me the strength to teach my butt off.

I remember when I was playing intramural basketball in college.  One game I played through a mildly sprained foot.  Every step I took, I felt pain.  Through it, I played maybe my best intramural basketball game ever, which is probably not saying too much, but still.  My attention was so focused on my present pain,that it allowed me to be completely in the moment. 

As I went through my day, I was thinking of Paul’s teaching in being content with all things and being able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:11-13).   I was thankful for just having the energy and opportunity to teach those children.  For some reason, through pain, it was so much easier to have that attitude and not succumb as much to selfishness.  I think God can use pain for good if you let Him. What was so inspiring about the life of Paul was not just his amazing teachings but also the attitude he was able to cultivate through all His sufferings.  As a result, his words had far more weight to the early church.

He writes of his sufferings:

…In labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prison more frequently, in deaths often.  From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one.  Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of water, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness – besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concerns for all the churches. (2 Corinthians 11: 23-28)

If you think by following Jesus that the circumstances of your life will becomes easier, read that paragraph again.  If you think following Jesus will make your life more comfortable, read that paragraph again. 

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.(2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. (Philippians 4:11)

If Paul can learn to be content through all his unimaginably painful trials, then we certainly can as well in whatever we face.  We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  Are you with me?

Juan at the Tienda

Close by Café Mingo, the place I call my home, is a tiny tienda (store).  There are no big grocery stores here, but instead hundreds of tiny little tiendas.  The owner of the store is a big guy named Juan.  I frequent his store often to see how he is doing.  He is a professing Christian and attends church at the Church of God.  He worked in the United States for years, making around $8 per hour working 12 hour days in corn fields in Ohio.  As he talks to me, he reminisces about his time in the U.S.  That money goes a long way down here and his thoughts are always about returning back.  He has a family in Nebaj but his dream is to go to the United States and work.  There are many starry eyed people down here who think that the United States will solve all their problems.  In their minds, it is a paradise.  I ask him if he prays about whether God wants him to go back to the United States.  He looks confused, like the idea is a foreign concept.  He then talks again about working in the United States.  He wants help with a work visa, he says. 

While there are many professing Christians, few live Christ like lives.  Greed is prevalent.  People here think their lives will be better with more land, more money, more things.  They must find it funny that somebody living their dream in the United States would come down to Guatemala thinking life would be better and easier with LESS.  I wish they would see that contentment does not reside in things, but only in the blessings of God.  Never having experienced having more than enough, it is a hard concept for them to grasp.  Likewise, it is hard for me to grasp what it would be like to live with as little as they have on a daily basis.  Like so many of us, they focus on worldly things to bring them happiness.  Meanwhile, they go to Church like good Guatemalan Christians on Sundays.

While Guatemala is heavily evangelized, the root is very shallow.  In the United States, it seems the seed is sown among thorns and the worries and cares of the world choke it out.  In Guatemala, the seed seems more planted in shallow soil.  Lets pray for them to go deeper and seek after God and not things.  

Around the Corner to Chajul

 The microbus dropped me off in Cotzal.  Here I was.  I have been using my Saturdays as exploration days.  I did not know where I was going to go today.  I decided to walk down a road near Cotzal to see where it went.  It ended on a main road that went toward Santa Avelina.  I had already been down that way so I found another road that veered off the other direction and I walked down that road instead.  I came to an intersection and I had no idea where I was.  I asked a guy that happened to be there and discovered I was at the main road that would take me to Cotzal in one direction or Chajul in the other direction.  I was right next to Cotzal and I had basically walked in a circle.  I asked if there were any villages on the way to Chajul, and he told me there was one about 15 minutes away.  That peeked my curiosity and I began walking toward Chajul.

Chajul in distance

It was all uphill at the start and I had probably been walking for 30 minutes at a brisk pace before spotting the village he was talking about: Batzmul.  Before walking down to explore the tiny village, I climbed up a boulder that happened to be at the top of the hill.  From there, the view was astounding.  I could see miles down the road Chajul way out in the distance.  I also spotted another little village before reaching Chajul.  I sat there for almost an hour.  I did not want to leave that spot.  Sometimes, when life is good, it’s hard to keep moving, but we have to continue down the road God has laid out for us.  So curiosity got the better of me and I continued down the road.  At this point I had decided to walk all the way to Chajul several miles more through the mountains, it was such a beautiful day!  I noticed a trail leading off the road before descending toward Batzmul.  I hiked up and up and up, only to discover somebody was raising Bees.  They swarmed everywhere and decided not to explore that trail any further.

Batzul

I walked into Batzmul.  It is always very awkward walking into these tiny villages as a Gringo.  It seems one appearance of a Gringo is the talk of these towns for a week.  Some hide in their houses.  Kids will yell “gringo, gringo!”  I explored a tiny bit and talked a little with a few of the people and then I was on my way.

As I walked farther down the road away from Batzmul, I noticed many locals walking the other direction.  I then came across a park where a church service had ended.  They were packing up and heading home.  I talked with one of the young men there and got the story.  The Church of God from Batzmul and the Church of God from Vitzuchuj, the other tiny village a mile or two further along the road, meet for some services as one church body in the park.  I thought that was absolutely beautiful.

Vitzuchuj

I then walked up and up and up, to that tiny village with an incredible view, Vitzuchuj.  What an amazing place to live!  The people in this village were so nice and welcoming.  At the tienda, when I told them I was from the United States, one girl screamed and ran out of the store.  Apparently she is afraid of the U.S. because it’s so far away.  There are 35 families in this village.  At the main part of town is a school, a tienda, and a church.

In Chajul

After my half hour visit, I continued on my way, the last leg of my journey to Chajul.  It was only about another thirty minutes of walking before I came to the outskirts of Chajul.  I continued up and up (it seems all walking here is up for some reason) until I was in the main part of Chajul.  I had done it.  A sense of accomplishment radiated through me.  I had only wanted to see what was a little further down a road in Cotzal and I ended up walking clear to Chajul! 

“It’s a dangerous business, Jordo, going out your door, you step out onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you’ll get swept off to.” – Bilbo Baggins  

:)

Two Days - Down and back up

Yesterday, I was defeated.  I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed my culture.  I was caught up in a sorrowful fog.  I have trouble communicating these things with my fellow teachers.  Communicating in Spanish feels like so much work sometimes, where could I begin to describe how I was feeling?  They do not understand the culture where I come from and how difficult it can be some days adjusting to this one.  I felt I had nobody to rely on and honestly during the day I kind of just wanted to go back to Nebaj and cry.  I had hit a low point.  But God works through our low points.  

The oddest thing began to snap me out of it, I passed by a drunk woman that was passed out on the sidewalk.  Everybody walked around her and nobody stopped for her.  People here are used to seeing drunk people passed out on busy sidewalks.   I was one of those people walking by, I just wanted to go home, close the door, and feel sorry for myself.  Some missionary I was huh?  So I did and then I prayed.  Suddenly I knew I had to go back out to where the drunk woman was laying.  I walked over and sat next to her on the busy sidewalk.  I nudged her a few times to see if she would wake up.  She didn’t.  I then stood up and went on my way with the intention of checking on her later.  Even though the passed out drunk woman will never know I checked on her, it felt freeing, and I felt I was walking in Him again.  It was not a comfortable thing to do, as people pointed and laughed at me for stopping.  But I knew it was the right thing to do, we are all His children no matter how low we get.  

After that, I bought a basketball for the school and bought a couple of English-Spanish dictionaries to give to people.  As I focused on others and not on myself, my mood began to change.  When I got back, I called my mom.  It was so encouraging to talk with her and after that, I felt like myself again.

Today was completely different.  It is hard to explain this, but today, the cultural barriers did not seem like barriers.  Yes, I am different from them, with a much different background than they could ever imagine.  Yes, I will never know what it is like to grow up and know only the Ixil culture.  However, none of that seemed to matter today.  We are all unique and all were given our particular races to run.  At heart though, we are all brothers and sisters and love binds even the most different of us together.  

Today, schools from the Cotzal area came to some fields outside of town for a Soccer tournament.  It lasted four hours and it was kind of boring.  There was a lot of waiting and both games ended in 0-0 scores before the penalty kicks.  But I loved every minute of it.  I didn’t mind the boredom, I just loved supporting those kids.  I loved when they huddled around me and sang English songs.  I loved when they gave me high fives.  I loved when they came over to stand by me.   Cultural barriers did not matter, love ruled the day. 

 A little later in the day, I had a wonderful Bible study with one of the teachers in the park.  Communication was difficult but it did not seem to matter too much, not on this victorious day!  As we were studying, children came over (a frequent occurrence) and I asked them if they had read the Bible.  They said no and asked me what was in it with a child like curiosity.  They attended the Catholic church but had no idea what the Bible says about Jesus.   Very few people here read the Bible for themselves.  How wonderful it would be if the majority of the people in this supposedly Christian village read the Bible!  That is a good dream.  

Lord, thank you for answering my prayer and helping me to connect.  Even in the most difficult days, love conquers all.  Lord, when my focus turns inward again, remind me what I need to do.  Loving others is loving You.  Lord, I pray for the community of Cotzal, lead them in the way they should go.  Knock on the doors of their hearts and reveal Your truth to them.  Inspire them to read Your Word for themselves  and unite them in Your name.  A men.        

Lesson 9: Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy

This morning I am reminded of one of my favorite all time you tube clips from Louis CK.  He was on Conan talking about how spoiled this new generation is and how we all take things for granted.  As far as I know, he is an atheist, but he shares some unbelievable truth.  No matter how many things we acquire, no matter how many opportunities we receive, we are never happy.  There is always something to complain about and always something we feel we need to strive for to fulfill our lives.  The things of this world never bring contentment, no matter how much we have.  

I had some great discussion today with a short team from the United States.  One of them posed to Domingo, born and raised in the Ixil region of Guatemala: “What are the things you noticed when you came to study in the United States for the first time?”  

Domingo replied: “Oh man, all the opportunities.  There was so much opportunity.  Also, when I ate at restaurants and people only ate a little of their food and the rest was thrown into the garbage.   This was unbelievable to me because we never had that much food. “

While it is true people in the United States do not recognize all the opportunities and abundance we have, he switched it around and said the same is true of Guatemalans.

“When I was in Canada, there was frost on the ground 7 months out of the year.  But still, there was abundance, they used that land and grew food for themselves.  In Guatemala, we can grow things 365 days out of the year, but people live in poverty and do not recognize the opportunity that is here.  This land is beautiful and can be used tourism and for so many things.  Sometimes Kara and I want to go out for a hike because the mountains are so beautiful, people here do not see that.”

Why are we never satisfied with what we have?  One of the guys said one time he pondered all day why, of all things, Adam and Eve realized they were naked after eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  The thing God pressed on him was the two commandments Jesus said satisfied all the law.  

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

In these things you do not look at yourself or your happiness but in loving God and others.  After eating the fruit, Adam and Eve realized they were naked because their focus had turned inward.  They saw themselves.  No longer did love govern their actions, but selfishness.  

What does this have to do with nobody being content with what they have?  Everything.  Just the act of seeking happiness for ourselves is a selfish ambition.  In true love, there is no self seeking.

Love does not seek its own (1 Corinthians 13:5)

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.   And we also ought to lay down our lives for our brethren. (1 John 3:16)

For whoever desires to save his live will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it (Matthew 16:25)

No matter how much we have, we will never be satisfied if we keep seeking things for ourselves.  I spend a lot of time pondering my purpose and this also is self seeking.  I want God to reveal a role for me that I will be happy in, and while this can masquerade as holiness, it is also selfish.  When I pray to the Lord about these things, the response is always something along the lines of “lay down your life.”  This includes my purpose because it is not about me.  It is about God.  It is His purpose I should be concerned about.  I could spend my whole life seeking after this purpose that would fulfill my life, and in the end accomplish nothing.  Instead, on a daily basis, I could love God.  I could love others.  This is what the He tells us to do through His word.  It is not that complicated, yet our sins of looking inward greatly distract us and lead us into confusion.

Do you seek your own happiness in this life or have you completely laid it down?  Are you truly content and thankful for what you have or do you still strive for more?  Can you pray this prayer?

Lord, we give You our lives.  Thank you for everything You have given us, yet we would leave it all to follow You.  We do not seek after our own happiness, but instead desire to love others.

Can you pray that prayer honestly?  Me neither.  Lets continue.

Lord, but You know our hearts and know we are not yet at that place.  Forgive us Lord, do not give up on us, but continue to shape us through our failures in our walk.  We are selfish to the core, rescue us from ourselves!  Teach us!  Lead us!  Lord, the world overwhelms us!   Help us not to look there for fulfillment, but to Your kingdom.  Show us how to love You.  Show us how to love others.  Thank you for all the amazing blessings you have bestowed upon us, thank you for being patient with us, and thank you forYour amazing grace.  Without You, we are nothing.  

A  Men.

Adventure Saturday

Mark came knocking on my door at 7:40.  Our plan was to take the 8:00 micro bus to Cotzal and then after that, who knows?  We opened up the Word, had a quick study and prayer time, and we were off.  The micro bus was crowded with 4 people hanging off the back.  After we stopped and let some people out, I saw one guy climb down from the roof.  At this point, when stuff like this happens, I just smile and shake my head.  This is Guatemala.  I love it.  

In Cotzal, Mark wanted to walk through the Saturday morning market.  People come from all over the surrounding villages to buy and sell at this market.  The chicken busses bring them early in the morning and then stay parked throughout the day, waiting until the early afternoon, when the people return to their villages.  I am personally not a fan of the markets because of the crowds of people and having to duck through so many tarps.  Mark likes it because you can buy almost any sort of produce that is growable around the region.

After the market, I decided it would be nice to pay a visit to the Jorai Bible Institute to see what was happening.  So much of what I do here in my spare time is just showing up to places and seeing what God has for me.  This day, Diego Perez, the President of the Bible Institute, and someone I had not talked with before, was there.  So I sat in his office, gave him a brief interview, and we talked.  I talked with him about the land and the possibility of the school we support, Colegio Horeb, using that land and building a school there.  It was a good conversation and am looking forward to talking with him again.

We then decided to walk to Ojo de Agua, an hour walk from Cotzal, to see what was there.  I had heard there was a Compassion program in Ojo de Agua only a few days ago when I was visiting with the Compassion program in Cotzal.  That program was not running on Saturday, unfortunately, but on the way, I called my Dad, to see if any knew of any contacts in Ojo de Agua.  He told me to talk with BaltizarChijoy, who he did not have time to talk with much on his last visit here.  Baltizar is a graduate from Jorai and is a Pastor of 100 people in his tiny village.  When we arrived, after asking a villager, we found the house of Baltizar.  However, he was not there, but in Cotzal.  He was going to arrive on the bus from the market.  So we explored.  Mark is interested in the agricultural practices of the region and we walked out of the main part of the village a ways and into the fields of peas and corn.  

The chicken bus that goes back and from Ojo de Agua Cotzal makes three trips.  It is a miracle this bus runs as it looks like it was on its last legs 30 years ago.  It is the only form of public transportation and it only makes trips on Saturdays to go the Cotzal market.  Baltizar was not on the first two trips on the bus from Cotzal.  However, his wife was, and went back with us on the bus to meet with him in Cotzal.  We talked at literally the same tienda where we started our walk.  We learned that he was adding on to his church and construction would begin in April.  I told him I was talking to him on behalf of my dad who was unable to talk much with him on his last visit.  He was thankful and asked for support in constructing a temple.

Afterward we had lunch at Comedor and then walked to a park that is on the way out of Cotzal.  It is in the country set up above a river in the mountains.  At the park is a place where people come to pray and a big green field.  We came to relax and relax we did.  We layed in silence for an hour or more.  A few thoughts floated in and out of my brain but mostly I was just still.  It was a beautiful sunny day and I listened to the whistling of the birds, the sounds of nature, the far off sounds of people.  I felt so at peace.  

Then we walked back to the center of town to wait on a microbus to take us back to Nebaj.  We arrived at 4:30 but no bus came until 6:00.  While that may seem like a huge inconvenience, I love this part of the culture.  It forces you to wait, reflect, and go deeper with people.   Waiting is a way of life here.  We had some great conversation.  Finally a bus came with loudspeakers on the top.  There was a man in the bus reading the Bible in Spanish and then translating in Ixil as the message was proclaimed through the loud speakers.  To our astonishment, this bus was going to Nebaj.  This was our first time on a Bible bus!  Mark and I just laughed.  This is Guatemala.  I love it.

Public school in Ojo de Agua

Lesson 8: No Worries

Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life… (Matthew 6:25)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7)

Worry and anxiety is attempting to control your own life or others lives when you have no control (a rather pointless exercise if you think about it).  It is holding on to something that you do not want to give and trust God for.  In essence, one part of denying yourself is giving up the need to control your own life by giving your worries to God and trusting Him for what is best.  

I am a worrier.  This may surprise some people, who see me as some sort of care free, laid back dude.  But I worry about my future.  I am constantly trying to plan out what my life will look like years down the road, trying to create my own heaven on Earth if you will.  I worry about making the wrong decisions and blowing my life, as if I am the center of the universe and somehow my decisions will affect the plans and will of God.  That is all of course complete nonsense and I know that intellectually.  At a heart level though, I struggle with these worries.

Then I read what Jesus says in Matthew 6:34: Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things, sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What a statement!  It sounds so easy and simple, yet I have not met one person who is able to follow this teaching.  But Jesus is pretty clear on the subject of worrying: Don’t!  This does not mean we can not have visions for the future, but we should not worry or excessively think about those visions.  We should give them to God and pray with thanksgiving about it.  We have to trust that God’s plans will come to pass regardless of what we do.  When our own plans are thwarted, do we trust God has something better in mind?  Do we live for our plans or God’s plans?

Solomon writes in Proverbs:

There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel, that will stand (Proverbs 19:21)

A man’s steps are of the Lord; how then can a man understand his own way? (Proverbs 20:24)

If we put our trust in God, we should not worry about our own way, because it is selfish and not of God.  Worrying about God’s way is pointless because He is God!  Do you live with that kind of trust?  Me neither.  But, oh, that God would continue to knock on the doors of our hearts until we can completely surrender our ways to His ways. 

After telling the Philippian church to not worry, Paul gives an alternative to worrying:

Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Rather than selfishly worrying, what is something true, noble, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, or praiseworthy that you can thank God for instead?  He has given us so much already to rejoice in, but instead we look days, weeks, years ahead and worry about our future.  Instead of worrying today, praise the Lord for what He has given you!

And still a little later, he writes: I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content (Philippians 4:11)

Lord, cultivate in us a thankful attitude.  We are all your children.  Help us to not worry about our futures but delight in You and in our inheritance.  Help us not to see ourselves as more important than we are, but humble us.  Lord, remind us of what you have done for us, so we can give you thanks for everything, always.

A Men.

A Visit with Romualdo

Romualdo Perfecto Santiago Ramirez has dedicated his life to God in Christian education.  He looks at the children under his care and he sees himself in them and wants to help them.  The school is a successful program, but as he tells me a bit of his story, what he seems to remember most are the kids that choose the wrong path.  He worries about his students.  Some turn to alcohol.  Some of the girls become pregnant.  He tells them to be careful, he wants so badly for them to learn the way of God.  His words sometimes go in one ear and out the other.  He talks of the situations some of the children are in.  Some of their parents are divorced.  Some of them have a parent that go to the United States to work illegaly.  Some do not have money to buy the supplies they need and choose not to continue because of money.  As he spills out all his concerns for the youth of this town, I can not help but admire his devotion.

   

Romualdo is the Director of Colegio Methodista Filadelfia.  He has 225 children under his care in the town of Chajul.  There are many girls that come to his school to avoid the sexual advances that are sometimes made by male teachers in the public schools.  Many Catholics pay for their children to come to this Evangelical school because the quality of education far exceeds that of the public schools.  The Bible is taught here and Christian counseling is given.  They spend much time with the students in developing career goals.  He dreams about the future of his students as they infiltrate into society.  Some will become policeman, maybe a few will be mayors, and some will be teachers.  He focuses on what God can shape them to be and what his town can become through these students.  His vision is inspiring and it left me feeling goosebumps.

In our American way of thinking, we try to change things as quickly as possible.  We throw a lot of money at something and expect returns.  But this is not the way of God.  The Bible talks much of sowing the land, and reaping its fruits.  Sowing the land takes time.  It is laborious.  If you dump a bunch of seed on the ground and then leave, do not expect to reap a lot of good fruit later.  We must take extra care of all our little plants that are beginning to sprout.  We need to treat them gently and carefully over a long period of time.  The real heroes in society are the ones not in the limelight.  We tend to see the fruit but not the ones doing the watering.  They work behind the scenes, investing hours upon hours into the life of another.  Teachers are the true heroes of a society.

Heavenly Father, use us to do your work.  Lord, sometimes we are impatient.  Forgive us and lead us to simply be still and invest deeply into the lives of others.  Lord, on your timeframe.  Always.     

Lesson 7 - Wisdom

 "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.  But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.  This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.  For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.  But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.  Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." (James 3:13-16)

This post is a short, humble investigation into the topic of wisdom as the Bible describes it.  I desire to be filled with wisdom in my own life but I often fall way short.  When I make decisions, I want to make sure I desire to seek His will and His plan for my life.  My problem is that despite that, I often develop my own plans for my life that are the result of a self seeking heart.  As I seek something for myself, I then rationalize it to be the will of God.  But as James so eloquently puts it in this verse, this is not true wisdom.  Just because a desire is in my heart, it does not mean it is from God.  I think often we get confused by the famous verse in Psalm 37:4 that says:

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

We focus on the second part of that verse without focusing on the first.  Delight yourself in the Lord.  If you are coveting something for yourself, are you really delighting yourself in the Lord, or are you delighting in yourself?

This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.

James gives a great litmus test for heavenly wisdom in the verse that follows.  This wisdom is:

Pure.  Does not seek its own, but full of love
Peaceable.  It does not create conflict and is not argumentative.  It results in peace.
Gentle.  Not abrasive or in your face
Willing to yield.  Is sacrificial, willing to lose or let others have their way
Full of mercy.  Full of forgiveness without grudges.
Full of good fruits.  It results only in good things
Without partiality.  It is fair, without bias
Without hypocrisy. It is 100% authentic.  

These are all not only characteristics of heavenly wisdom, but characteristics of the Holy Spirit as well.  The two seem to be synonymous.  Solomon writes a lot about wisdom in the book of Proverbs (especially the first 9 chapters) and it becomes obvious while reading that he is not just talking about wisdom through our worldly lenses, but of the Holy Spirit that comes from God.  True wisdom is something that can come only from God.

Solomon writes:    


“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..." (Proverbs 9:10)

"For the Lord gives wisdom..." (Proverbs 2:6)

Paul writes in his letter to the Ephesians: 
 
Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:17-18).

In other words, to have wisdom is to be filled with the Spirit of God. 

In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon investigates wisdom and the meaning of life.  He witnesses all the vanity of worldly pursuits.  He seeks different things out of life: pleasure, labor, wisdom, popularity, and money.  He sees that all die in the end and leave all their worldly pursuits to others.  He sums up his masterpiece with these words:


Of making many books there is no end, and much study is wearisome to the flesh.  Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.

The Students at Prince of Peace Extension Program in Cotzal

Another month of classes at the Prince of Peace Extension program are now finished.  I was able to get some interviews from the men going through the Bacheloretto level.  This is a high school level of Bible education.  Here is some of what the men had to say:

Jose Cabo Bernal is from a tiny village called Batzumal 2.  To learn at Cotzal, he has to travel 1 hour by foot and 3 hours by car.  He is thankful for the help that WIND provides and desires to have a better understanding of the Bible so he can teach it to others.

Santiago Lux Rivera is from Ixla.  He walks for 2 hours to the town of Chajul and then takes a bus to Cotzal.  He is a member of the Bethany Church.  He is motivated to learn the bible so he can teach his church because his pastor does not study the Bible.

Juan Matom Brito is a pastor from Caserioxesupio Palop.  He travels 30 minutes by foot before taking a long bus ride to study at this program.  He has much appreciation for the help that WIND provides.  Their only expenses to study at the church are books and food.  The teachers are paid completely by supporters in the United States.  He wants to teach his sons, brothers, neighbors, and village the Bible.  He has a son who is also studying at the program (at 9th grade level) who leads the youth in his church and walks to little villages all around teaching the Bible.

Diego Perez Lopez is the pastor of the San Felipe Prince of Peace Church near Cotzal.  He studies for the love of God.

Juan Calel Cuyuch is the second Pastor in the Prince of Peace Church in Xolcuay.  He wants to be able to teach the Word of God more clearly.  He is so thankful for having the blessing to learn here.

Lucas Sanchez Rodriguez is from Cotzal and is there to learn.  He wants to teach the Bible to others.

Alfonso Ajanel Sica has found the program so helpful that he helped start another one in his home church in the town of Xolcuay.

Pedro Santay Mejia and Magdalena Lux Ixcoy were not in attendance when I took the interviews.

I also took a brief interview of the men in the Tercero Basico level (9th grade):

Diego Brito is a youth leader in the Bethany church in Nebaj.

Nicholas Perez helps his pastor teach in the village of Xepatul 2.

Domingo Cabanal Rodriguez is the 2nd pastor in the village of Pinal.

Jacinto Abraam Sajic Perez teaches his church the Bible in the Prince of Peace in Santa Avelina.

Josue David Matom Sedillo is a youth leader in his church in Palop who also walks around to surrounding villages all over the region to teach the Bible.

Victoriano Sanic Castro teaches the Bible in the Prince of Peace church in Xolcuay.

Diego Tzoy Itxep is the pastor of a Pentecostal church in the village of Asich.

Pedro Cobo Perez is a bible teacher in his church in La Pista.

What the Prince of Peace Extension program offers these men is a chance to study the Bible and in turn, teach it to others.  These are men who have not had the privledge of going far in their educations.  They are responsible for teaching the Bible to thousands without formally studying the Bible themselves.  Bible teaching in this region barely scratches the surface, but what this program is doing, is allowing the leaders to study deeper so they can in turn teach it to others.

Thank you God for the work you are doing in this region.

Lesson 6 - Light

In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1:4-5)

You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. (Ephesians 5: 8-11)  

 The analogies of light and darkness in the Bible have to do with the love of Christ versus the lusts of the world.  The light (which is love, truth, righteousness) exposes the darkness of worldy lust and selfishness.  For this lesson though, I am going to focus primarily on the open, revealing nature of light versus the hiding, secretive nature of darkness. 

 Jesus calls us the light of the world.  Paul tells us to walk in the light.  In my own walk, there have been many times I have put my light under a basket.  I am not a very open individual and my natural inclination is to hide.  In so doing, people do not always see the light within me from the Lord.  In Guatemala, people are more open about their faith in God.  A part of it may be because it is more socially acceptable and there is no doubt some people who "fake" their faith.  In the United States, you do not see many people praising God in a public setting.  Believers tend to live in two worlds, their Christian world and the secular world.  They do not praise God in the secular world or proclaim His truth.  At church, however, they do not hesitate.  They talk to other church members saying "Praise God for this!"  Then, talking to their coworkers of the same event, they make no mention of their Creator at all.  I mention this only because I am guilty of the same thing.  I live in fear of man, of what they will think of me in giving God the glory, and forget that God desires us to fear Him alone.

What does this have to do with light?  Light is visible.  You can see it.  Our natural inclination is to hide.  That is what Adam and Eve did after sin entered the world.  In darkness, you try to cover up your sin or your imperfections.  You put on a facade.  In light, you lay out your whole life before men without fear in truth.  That does not mean you are perfect, but you are honest about your imperfections, because you do not seek glory for yourself, but for God.  We want people to believe we are better or more holy than we are or in some contexts maybe we want people to believe we are worse than we are, either way it is a facade.  Walking in true light means walking in complete truth.  Your walk with God may not be perfect but it should be honest.


In a book I recently read by Phillip Yancey, he describes a situation of a bible study group.  They would never get too personal or go too deep in talking about their relationship with God.  Then one day, one woman just laid out her heart.  She described her disapointment with God, her areas of struggle, and just became completely vulnerable before them.  Her testimony stirred their hearts and others began to share as well.  The group had been operating in darkness but their facades had been exposed by the light of that woman's testimony. 


Lord, as we walk with you, help us to be bold and vulnerable.  Let our walks be honest with no self seeking motive. Your name be glorified.  A men.

Teaching at Horeb: Weeks 3 and 4

Two more weeks of teaching have passed.  Teaching is getting a little easier.  This week, I even randomly made up a couple songs for the kids to remember some vocabulary and they loved it.  I always leave my backpack up above on the soccer court while I go down to teach.  I have never had any problems with the kids getting into my stuff and they all seem to have a tremendous respect for other people's things.  They can be difficult at times to teach but they are wonderful kids.  There are a lot of big hearts in this group of students.  I just wish the school had more resources to work with.  I will write more about this later, but the school really is running on prayer.  All the teachers make a tremendous sacrifice working here, as they only make $1000 per year (you read that right) while they would make $3000 per year teaching at a Government run school.  The teachers do not come anywhere close to making a living teaching at that salary and they all have other jobs to supplement.

I went to a birthday party with the 6th graders and the teachers last week, which was a lot of fun.

My most favorite part of each week has been the devotion time we have on Thursdays.  Last week the 5th graders led devotion.  They performed a drama of the parable of the prodigal son.  They drapped white sheets over themselves to look more like Israelites and they even had music from Israel blaring over the boom box, which Horeb was able to borrow from an alumni.  The 5th grade teacher, Hilda, read the story of the prodigal son while the children acted it out.  I think their favorite part was the party when the prodigal son returns home.

This week, the 4th graders led devotion.  The girls did an interpretive dance to a Christian song and then all the fourth graders performed as a mock band.  One of the little boys came up to the front and read a part of the Bible aloud from Matthew 6.  Of course there was also prayer and singing.

Today, we had a field trip.  We walked about a half hour to what they call "el campo."  It is a huge park above the river.  Cotzal is in the mountains and there is no such thing as flat land here, but there was an area here flat enough for two games of soccer simultaneously.  It was a very beautiful location.  The children exchanged gifts for El Dia Del Cariño (Valentines Day) and we played all day. 

Walking to Cajixay

It was a rainy Saturday morning as I took the microbus to Cotzal.  The plan was to arrive in town, buy some food, and walk to Cajixay along a dirt road that climbs up into the mountains.  I went to Cajixay two weeks before, but did not have much time in the village.  It is about a 10 kilometer walk from Cotzal to Cajixay.  Along the way I met many people who were walking the other direction.  I do not think the locals were to used to seeing Gringos walking the road.  It was a very neat to walk because locals have to do it frequently.  There is not much transportation along this road, only an occasional truck, and a bus that goes to and from the market on Saturdays.  That is why I chose to go on this particular day, I was going to take the bus back that comes from the market.

men playfully line up to take bags from truck

I walked through two little villages on the way.  I met one guy from Nama walking who was the director of a small school in that village.  He said a team from the United States was coming down next week to help with construction.  I may go back to Nama to visit this school and perhaps meet this short term team.  As I was almost to Cajixay, I ran into a very large group of people from Cajixay at their agricultural land called Tu Chok.  A truck came with hundreds of 100 pound bags of dirt and the men were beginning to unload when I came across them.

Cajixay

Tu Chok: planting lots of peas

Benjamin's family was with that group.  That is the family I visited for a very short time when I went to Cajixay two weeks before.  After getting the bags from the truck, they were separated out by family.  I helped a bit with this.  The land up there is all together but different families own different parts of the land.  Then they carried their bags to their land.  I thought I would help and so I carried a 100 pound bag of dirt a couple hundred yards the way I saw the men carrying them.  Either I carried it wrong, or they have very strong necks or upper back muscles, because after carrying one bag, I thought I had done permanent damage to my neck.  It probably didnt help that I slipped in the mud and fell on my butt with a 100 pound bag balanced on my neck.  I did not help anymore after that.  I walked into Cajixay while the people stayed there and spread out their dirt.  I snapped a few photos and walked back.  All the people were at their corresponding land working.  They are planting peas and this place is a site to behold with the amount of peas that are being planted!  I walked around and talked with a few of them and then caught the bus as it headed back to Cotzal.

Sebastian works his land on slope of mountain

Adventure Monday

Santa Avelina

This Monday, I began by taking a microbus to Xolcuay, to watch the beginning of the classes this month.  I walked from Xolcuay to the main fork and caught a microbus to Cotzal.  I then took another microbus to Santa Avelina, my first time in this wonderul town.  I was there to visit a Christian school called HELPS.  I came away highly impressed with the school and it gave me a vision for what the Horeb school could be with more support.  Afterward, I explored.  I walked up the hill to get a better view of town and to my astonishment I saw a beautiful waterfall way out in the distance.  Of course, I walked to it.  On that hot, sunny day the mist of the waterfall felt just right.  Here are a few photos from Santa Avelina!

 

Women Learn How to Sow in Cafe Mingo

Last week, my home was turned into a madhouse.  A Missionary Ventures team came down from Canada and some women from the team taught local ladies how to sow while others ran a program for the children.  Once the neighbor children saw the kids having so much fun, kids from the neighborhood started pouring in as well.  At one point I heard 40 children were running around.  I came by in the afternoons and played with the kids a little as well as taught a few some English.  Here are some photos:

Lesson 5 - Be Thankful

But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as it fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. (Ephesians 5:3-4)

On Lesson 4, I wrote about denying yourself to make room for God.  This is a hard task as temptations arise all over the place.  I think one way to help in denying yourself is to be thankful for what you already have.  Leading up to this passage in Ephesians, Paul is writing about putting off the old man filled with all these evil characteristics listed above, and putting on the new man, being filled with the love of Christ.

It is easy to fall into the path of covetousness and living for yourself.  I do not know about other Christians, but I know for me, the old man never really leaves.  I live in a constant struggle.  Like Paul, who says in Romans 7:19:

For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.

There is a selfishness in me that I fall back into again and again.  Then I feel the need to repent again and again.  It has to do with a certain coveteousness, of wanting my life to go a certain way, to want things for myself.  What is one way to fight this?

but rather giving of thanks.

I find the times in my life when I am most selfish, I am also the least thankful.  I am challenged this morning, how can I live my life in a more thankful way?  Am I truly thankful for everything the Lord has given me?  Being in Guatemala, surrounded by people who do not have what I have taken for granted over the years, it strikes me ever the more that I am not a very thankful human being.  I have truly been blessed abundantly, not just with possessions, but with family, with people that love me, with growing up in a circumstance that allows me a chance to succeed.  Not to even mention the riches I have in Christ, that I can not even begin to truly comprehend.  It seems like so much as to seem unbelievable and a part of me does not want to believe it, because I feel so unworthy of it.

May the Lord teach us all the riches that He has given us, and may we all be thankful, desiring nothing more.   A men.