Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Writings

Leaving, Returning, and Everything in Between


When I found out that my dad needed open heart surgery, I had to make a decision.  The decision that seemed to make the most sense was to wait until after his surgery to leave for Guatemala.  I had already been waiting for nine months, what was one more?  But I felt a strong urge to go, so I did something that made less sense.  I left for three weeks, came back for two weeks, and then left again.  I was not sure on the wisdom of this decision, only following my heart.  The plane ticket was an extra expense and my fundraising total was low.  Being with the people of Cotzal for those three weeks and teaching at the school, I knew that I had made the right decision.  I was feeling settled and at peace with my work in Cotzal, but it was time to travel back for my dad's surgery.  Honestly, it was hard to leave.  Besides praying, I didn't know what I could really do to help as my dad went through that.  But I found that the way God used me the most was not necessarily in the United States but in the process of traveling home.  He had divine appointments lined up in front of me and through them He taught me and changed me.

The first one I have already written about.  Being able to pray with the person that stole my phone was something I will probably never forget.  I could feel God speaking to him in that moment.  When I arrived back to Antigua two weeks later, I asked about him to people that know him.  Nobody had seen him.  He had disappeared after that incident.  I hope he has begun to put his stealing ways behind him and has let God have His way with him. 

The second one happened on the plane from Guatemala City to Dallas.  I sat next to a woman who was traveling to Kansas to visit with a guy she had known from Panama, and with whom she had been chatting long distance with for a year.  She was stepping out into unknown territory and was unsure of what she wanted.  She believed in God and prayed often, but this guy did not.  She wanted to be closer to God.  As I spoke with her, I felt the Holy Spirit leading me, giving me words.  I shared with her the verse I was studying at the time from Matthew 5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  When I connected with her upon my return, I learned that she felt it was God and not me speaking to her, and she felt that verse was for her.   We talked for three hours on the plane and upon arriving in Dallas, we agreed to do lunch together at the airport.  But after going through customs in our separate lines, we lost each other.  I waited for her upstairs while she waited for me downstairs.  I wondered if that was a sign that God wanted our meeting to be at an end.  I looked for her gate on the departure screen so maybe I could say goodbye before she left, since she was leaving over an hour earlier than me.  It said A21.  I looked for my gate.  It said A21.  I laughed out loud that God had put us not only right next to each other on the plane but also at the exact same gate in the enormous Dallas airport as well.  We talked a little bit more before she had to board her plane.  Two weeks later she picked me up from the airport in Guatemala City and drove me to Antigua.  We continued to talk and share our lives with each for many hours over those next two days.

At the Dallas airport I had another divine appointment over text message.  After that woman and I had lost each other, I received several texts to my USA phone from an old friend from my childhood.  He knew I was a missionary and asked me many questions about salvation.  I had been out of the country for three weeks, and my phone had been turned off during that time, but he had sent the texts only the night before.  We sent several texts back and forth in the Dallas airport. 

Through those three instances over those two days on my travel home, I felt God use me as never before.   I felt the Holy Spirit giving me words and I opened my mouth without worry or fear.  Once home, I spent many hours at the hospital with my family.  Watching my dad go through the aftermath of his surgery was very difficult for me, I felt useless.  But God watched over the surgery and it went “beautifully.”  So many people in the United States and here in Guatemala were praying for him.  My dad is a much loved man and I think he had more visitors than anybody else on his floor.  I watched as he, through the pain and discomfort, was able to still visit with his friends and crack jokes.  He wanted to learn everybody’s name that came in to work on him (and there were many).  He went through the procedure with so much courage and so much grace.   He is ahead of schedule on his road to recovery.

It was nice spending time with family and friends in Seattle but I also felt restless.  I was ready to go back and continue my journey here in Guatemala.  I have been back in the country now for almost a week.  I took several busses to arrive here in Cotzal from Antigua, which was an adventure considering I was lugging my guitar around everywhere.   Seeing all the children at HOREB this last Friday reminded me why I am here.  It has been great reconnecting again with the loving, hospitable people here in Cotzal.  We will see what else God has in store for me. I just hope I am able to get out of my own way and let God use me the way He used me in my journey home.  Thank you all for your continued prayers.

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