Update in Guatemala Preparation

I am currently sitting up on Lopez Island, and time has slowed down again.  After getting back from Kauai, I jumped back into fundraising.  I swam all 10,000 yards during our annual 100x100 we put on for masters swimmers, this year my friend Kate insisted that the money raised go to support my Guatemala living expenses.  The next day she organized a bake sale at my church, where we sold a bunch of goodies.  That weekend we raised $300.  I am so thankful for supportive friends.  The next week I prepared for a presentation I gave to a rotary club as well as Christmas shopping.  I went to Yakima for a Christmas party, helped the Action International office as they put new carpeting into their office, had Christmas with the family, coached, gave private lessons, and finally came up here to Lopez.

There has been a big change in my plans for the trip to Guatemala.  My dad will be having open heart surgery to replace his bicuspid valve because of an aneurysm that has formed.  That will happen on February 7th.  I know he would appreciate prayer for that.  I have bought a ticket to arrive January 13th and to return February 5th to be there for my family during that time.  I will leave again sometime in mid to late February with an open ended return date but likely returning mid to late July.  The mission and objectives for my trip have not changed, just the dates.  You can read about those on my support letter.

I was able to use a voucher for my airplane ticket for the first leg of the journey.  As it stands, we have raised $720.  This should easily cover the first leg of my trip from January 13th to February 5th as well as contribute a little bit to my living expenses upon my return.  The total estimated cost of my living expenses in Guatemala through the end of July will be about $2,400 ($400/mo.).  

My main goals during my initial 3 week stint will be to set up my living situation, prepare a plan with Tabita for my teaching at the school, get documentary footage of Tabita, and begin teaching.

Thanks everybody for your support.  It will not be too long now that I will be back serving in Guatemala.  I will try to update consistently to keep everybody connected to what is happening.

Kauai Part 3: End and Reflections

I have yet to get a chance to finish my blogging about Kauai as life got busy around the Christmas season.  It seems so long ago already...

My last full day was a social day.  I got an invite from two friendly women I met on the trail, Adrienne and Leslie, for brunch.  I loved hanging out with them in the morning and it felt like I was hanging out with good friends.  Then we all took a bus to Lihue where they rented a car and I checked into my hotel for my last night.  Later that day I went for a walk to the beach and a kind gentleman picked me up.  I got into a conversation with him and ended up going to a shopping center instead, talking a couple hours over Starbucks coffee.  That conversation felt like a divine appointment as I felt like I was talking with him at a pivotal time in his life.  The next morning I walked to the airport and flew back.

I honestly still don't know why I went to Kauai this December.  It was an awakening experience for my soul.  I had forgotten what it felt like to live each day with little expectation.  I did not know what the next day would bring.  Who would I meet?  What would I do?  Where would I go?  I lived moment by moment rather than living steps ahead in my head.  I had so many unique moments, like talking and playing frisbee late at night with a stranger from Kodiak, or sitting on the beach at night watching a storm roll in in the distance, or walking with a couple from Brazil through the beautiful Kalalau valley.  I wish I could live more like that in day to day life: no schedules, just following the path ahead of me, and stopping to meet some people along the way.

I also felt God teaching me that no matter how tired or weary I get (like I did along the trail), God will give me the strength I need.  I have enough for each day and each moment.  I should not try to conquer tomorrow with today's strength.  I also discovered a bit of God's creation: the fruit trees, the waterfalls, and the epic landscape of the Na Pali Coast.  It was a random trip that reminded me of my place in God's creation.  I thank the Lord for the opportunity to travel and have a little vacation away from home before beginning my mission work in Guatemala.  My next post will detail where I am in preparation for the work to be done.

Guatemala Support Letter

Curious as to what I hope to be doing in the next Guatemala trip?  Click here to read my support letter!

Kauai Part 2: The Kalalau Trail

 I woke up early, excitedly packed up camp, and began walking.  It was about a mile from the Haena Campground to the trailhead for the Kalalau trail.  It breezed by, I had a long day ahead.  I hiked the trail four years ago and I knew what was to come.  One of the scariest moments I ever had hiking happened on this trail.  Seven miles in, the trail skirts a cliff high over the ocean waves.  On that day, it had rained very hard and the cliff became one giant mudslide.  My boots had been caked in mud and every step I took, I felt like I was sliding off the cliff.  I had no traction and nothing to hold on to.  I have forgotten a lot of my adventures hiking, but I remember the moments clearly when I felt in very real danger, this one was like a snapshot in time, and a moment that was very much in my memory bank as I began the trail.

The Kalalau trail is an 11 mile trail that meanders along the Napali Coast, and begins and ends at sea level.  That sounds easy enough but there is a reason the road ends where the trail begins.  The trail travels up, down, and around a series of seemingly unending ridges.  The workout your legs get during the 11 mile one way hike feels equivalent to doing a 11 mile round trip mountain hike that climbs 4000 to 5000 feet.  The difference is, instead of cold mountain air that cools you off, you are walking through almost 100% humidity in 80 degree weather.  It is not possible to take a step without sweating.  That all still would not be that bad, but then I also had a 35 pound pack to deal with.  The pack for me was by far the hardest part of the hike and I was upset with myself for packing in needless things that I knew I wouldn't use.  For anybody that is reading this that may do the hike in the future, do not bother packing in a fleece jacket, a sleeping bag (a liner is sufficient), or more than two changes of clothes.


All that being said, I have been blessed to see so much of God's creation through all the Americas, and there might not be a more beautiful place than this.  The lush green forests and jagged green ridges, the ocean stretching out as far as the eye can see, the waterfalls cascading down cliffs, the fruit trees.  The Na Pali Coast is an absolute paradise.

I attacked the first part of the trail. I was full of energy and was eager to finish the hike quickly so I could take my pack off and relax on the beach. The weather was nice and I was hoping to get past the more dangerous parts of the hike while it was dry. I passed several people along the way but never stopped to talk for too long because I was eager to get that pack off! Around mile 7 or 8 I was ready to be done or throw my pack off a cliff. It is amazing how no matter how exhausted you are, if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually you go a long ways. I was extremely happy to get to Kalalau beach where other backpackers welcomed me with open arms. I set up camp and just spent the rest of the daylight hours relaxing. The beach is breathtaking. There is a waterfall on the beach that spurts out drinkable water. The combination of the green mountains and ocean surrounding you just engulfs your senses. The beach is not filled with your typical tourists, people have to earn their way here through a strenuous hike with exposure. My kind of people. I read a little bit and watched a killer sunset on the beach before settling in for the night, finishing my fourth day on Kauai.

The fifth day was all about exploring. I got up in the morning without a plan, went to the beach, and did a Bible study. I was sore from the hike in and I figured I would probably be a beach bum for the day. I couldn't help myself though, I had to explore and see what else Kalalau had to offer. It was another beautiful day and I felt extremely blessed. I walked back up the trail and explored a green outcropping that rose over the giant ocean waves. I walked along the cliff and eventually hiked into a hidden beach. After spending much time reading and praying in this area, I walked back and explored the valley.

 The valley trail was filled with ancient rock terraces not unlike what I've seen traveling through the land of the Incas. The forest has reclaimed it's territory but at one point there was a civilization living there, understandably, since it's a paradise. I passed some places where people were living illegally. There is a small group of people here that have spent years living in this wilderness. They survive by fishing and eating fruit that grows naturally. As I walked up the trail I was greeting by a man walking naked with two women I had met along the trail. People walking around naked is not something I am used to and it was always shocking for me to see, but it happened frequently! It is part of the culture of the valley. They warned me of the big pool coming up. I was not disappointed. There was a river stream which pooled up into natural pools of water. I got in and swam a little before a couple from Seattle came upon me (I would later see them on the airplane home, with the women sporting a brand new engagement ring!). I walked with them a little past the big pool where we came across a big orange tree. Another guy from Seattle was serving as their guide for the moment and he climbed the tree and shook a bunch off to carry back. There is nothing like eating fresh oranges straight from the tree! I explored further up the trail before heading back to beat the darkness approaching. On the way back I got to talking with a couple from Brazil that was spending 1000 days road tripping across the entirety of America. We swapped some stories as we walked back, my kind of people. That night, I was sitting on the beach as the stars came out and felt God leading me to talk to the guy sitting behind me. So that night, I spent an hour sitting under the stars getting to know a man from Kodiak, Alaska.

On the morning of my sixth day, after relaxing on the beach and spending time in the Word, I decided to pack up and hit the the trail. I got a late start and was planning to spend the night at a campground 6 miles in.  On the way out, I stopped at the green outcropping, breathing in the beauty, and waiting on the Lord. It was one of those indescribable moments with God that you can't put into words but it was incredibly refreshing for my soul. After about 20 minutes, I began hiking up and out of the Kalalau valley. Amazingly, it still had not rained and I passed the harrowing parts once again while it was dry. I was happy not to repeat the experience I had 4 years earlier. I felt good and my legs felt strong so I passed the campground at 6 mile and continued my walk to the 2 mile campground at Hanakeipei. I found the perfect campsite, set up camp, and had just started relaxing when Adrienne and Leslie arrived at the campground behind me. I knew they were coming because I passed them along the trail earlier.


I had met them around that same spot on the hike in and ran into them several times over the course of those couple days. One thing I loved about traveling through South America was running into the same people over and over again. Even on a scale that big, people tended to travel in the same tourist path and we would run into the same people again in different cities or even different countries. Eventually we would end up traveling with a group of people for periods of time. One of my best traveling buddies, Fabrice, I traveled with off and on for 6 months from the tip of South America to Lima, Peru.

The Kalalau trail is obviously a much smaller scale, but it is nice to know you are really never traveling through life alone. There are always people walking in the same direction as you. We all ate dinner together and I stayed up and sat under the stars for a while. There was a thunderstorm rolling in and I prayed it wouldn't come near our campground. As I watched it travel over the ocean expanse, it veered north. It would be another night without rain, thank the Lord.

On day 7, I hiked to a waterfall in the morning. I was the first one on the trail and I enjoyed my morning walk immensely. I washed in massive olympic-sized pool of water the waterfall created, hiked back to the campground, packed up, and hiked out. Along the trail I passed somebody I recognized from Kalalau and asked if I could get a ride to Hanalei when we were done. Thankfully, he obliged. I was back in civilization. In Hanalei of course I ran into Adrienne and Leslie again briefly, before settling in to a well earned Iced Coco mocha at the local coffee shop. That tasted so wonderful. I took a bus to Anahola, and walked a mile to my camp spot. It was so windy on the beach that I put a giant log in my tent to keep it from blowing away! My time on Kauai was nearing an end.

Kauai Part 1: Somewhere over the Pacific...

I was somewhere over the Pacific, sitting in the very back row of the airplane, stretched out over three seats, i pod in, and wondering what the heck I was doing.  My Guatemala mission trip I had been planning for many months was coming up right around the corner, but still my soul felt restless.  I knew I needed to get away for a little bit.  Being in one place for too long does that to me.  I had blocked out a week in my calendar for this very purpose.  There were many ideas rolling around in my head as to where I could go, but I knew I needed to save as much money as possible.  Road tripping was a possibility but after calculating how much gas would cost, that option was ruled out.  I thought of taking a train to Nashville and checking out the country music scene there.  I could even write a country song about it!  I found out taking a train to Nashville would cost more than twice as much as flying there, but flying to Nashville didn't sound as fun, so I discarded the idea.  I decided I wanted to get out in the wilderness instead but spending a week in the cold didn't sound appealing either.  I checked out flights to Hawaii and was surprised at how cheap they were.  I had been to Kauai four years ago and remembered how cheap it was to camp on that island and the stunningly beautiful Kalalau trail was calling me.  I booked the flight and a few days later I was off.

But now sitting on that airplane, it all felt like foolishness.  Was I being selfish in taking this week long trip by myself only one month before I was planning on leaving home for 6 months?  Was it selfish to ask people to support me on my mission trip while I was off camping and hiking in Hawaii?

I wrote in my journal:

Lord, a part of me doesn't want to leave.  As I get older, Your love has filled my life ever more and it's harder to do these sort of trips alone, it feels selfish.  But Lord, I pray that you'd bless this trip and teach me some things.  Lord, show me direction, prepare my heart.

After the plane arrived and I picked up my pack from baggage claim, I walked out into the humid Kauai weather.  Wanting to save money, I didn't bother renting a car but walked to the bus stop instead.  I paid my ridiculously cheap 50 cents and was off.  I took that bus to the end of the line, which was at a shopping center.  I was a little stressed out, being in a new place, needing to spend the night at a hotel somewhere with no car and with a full pack that was hurting my shoulders, and with darkness approaching.  Once again, I had the thoughts of "Why did I want to come here?"  Eventually, I decided to walk into Lihue on the main highway, and got the last room at a hotel there.  I walked to a Pizza Hut a mile away, walked back in the pouring rain, ate pizza, and crashed.  A powerful thunderstorm rolled in and I prayed that God would stop the rain while I was out camping.  That was my first day.

Day two was another stressful day of figuring out how to get my State park permits, my camping permits, and buying all the groceries I would need for the trail.  I also needed to buy camp fuel which if you don't know where to look is no easy task.  I bought the wrong fuel first at Wal Mart before figuring out the only fuel that would work with my stove was at Ace-Hardware, over a mile away.  I walked all over Lihue and it wasn't until 3:00 when I finally had everything I needed and arrived at a bus stop. Everybody I talked to was worried about me going on the trail after the storm the night before, the rivers would be high and there was potential for more flash floods. I set up camp in the remaining daylight at a beach called Anahola.  Stray dogs were trying to get inside my tent to get my food.  That was my second day.

It wasn't until my third day that I began to actually enjoy myself.  I had all the food I needed for at least 4 days, the sun came out a bit and I was optimistic that by the time I got on the trail, the rivers would be low and the conditions would be good.  I took a bus to Hanalei and enjoyed a coffee.  Hanalei is as far as the bus goes on the North Shore of Kauai, so I started walking on the road for six miles to the next campground.  My pack weighed me down a lot and I was eager to begin eating my way to a lighter load.  I only half heartedly tried to hitch hike because it was such a beautiful walk!  Finally after three miles or so, a women felt bad for me and picked me up.  I set up camp and explored a little bit before night fall.

There are many locals that live on the campgrounds in Kauai.  It is possible to live off the land here without money.  I believe the indigenous can even use the campgrounds for free.  So there is a camp culture that goes on.  Many are involved with drugs and I was asked several times if I had weed or wanted weed.  A boy was scamming me at one campground and I later talked to another guy who lived there who said that that boys brother committed suicide.  It's sad to see this kind of culture springing out in a land with such natural abundance.

The island of Kauai, and the Napali coast in particular, is so stunningly beautiful.  God really overdid it when He made this place.

 On day 4, I traveled into the wilderness.  On my next post, I will write about my time on the Kalalau trail!  

   

Why I Believe in the Existence of God

Written a few years ago on my old blogging site:

I watch the branches sway and the leaves flutter. I can’t see the wind, but I know it’s there. I watch people laugh together, help each other, and love one another. I can’t see God, but I know He’s there.

To believe in anything requires faith. God will never be proved by science. Our human science can only measure what can be seen, heard, felt. The existence of God, like love, is something that can’t be objectively measured. Either you put faith that there is more to the world than you can directly observe, or you put your faith in the idea that what we can measure is all that exists. In the end, it all comes down to faith. I don’t write this to inspire debate about the existence of God. Any debates will ultimately go in a circle and arrive at the same conclusion. Either you believe in things you can’t see, or you don’t. This is my personal testimony as to why I believe in the existence of God.

I could start by talking of the majestic grandeur of the mountains, the exquisite beauty of sunsets, or the overwhelming vastness of the oceans. All the beauty in our world is evidence enough to have faith in a Creator. But then, there’s the human being. Where do I even begin? Our intelligence and ability to create is extraordinary. As I sit here and type this, I know with one click of a button that this article will be available to be read BY THE WHOLE WORLD! That just blows my mind. Another thing that blows my mind: Skype. I mean, you do realize that we can see and talk instantaneously with somebody living on the other side of the planet, right? That is AMAZING. I just can’t believe that our incredible intelligence that gives us the ability to create all these amazing things happened by some cosmic accident.

All of that doesn’t even compare to our capacity to love. If there were no purpose, no meaning, no God, then why love? Why do people sacrifice their lives for others? If our lives just happened by randomness, why would you even care if you saw someone suffering in the streets? I believe the evolutionist would argue that back in the day when we were half-apes, we developed this because community was essential to our physical survival. Once again, it comes down to where you put your faith. You can believe that we love because a loving God created us, or you can believe it evolved to be there. Or you can be like some people and believe love doesn’t exist at all. For me, I’ll take the former. 

These things don’t even begin to scratch the surface of the wonder of our creation. One day, I was sitting at Starbucks, pen in hand, ready to write something. I prayed and as I wrote, out came a torrent of questions:

Who is it that causes the thoughts to flow to your hand? To write words that flow together and make sense? A bunch of scribbles on a page form a pattern. Why does it have meaning? Why is music beautiful? How does a bunch of loud noises come together to form a pattern that inspires?

If we were created from chaos, then why is there so much order? If everything is random, why is it that we long for meaning? If it’s all about survival of the fittest, why do we love art? Why do we find things beautiful at all? We could get all intellectual and start tramping out all these scientific theories and studies to attempt to answer these questions. But we would be ignoring the simplest explanation: that we were created this way.

While taking a walk today, I noticed all the trees. I thought it crazy that these tall strong trees started from a tiny seed. That is a miracle. A seed is planted, a little bit of water falls from the sky, the sun shines a little bit, time passes, and abra cadabra, TREE!! What!? Our life-filled world is absolutely miraculous.

I don’t know much about the science of trees. I think they grow by some sort of cell division process. But what causes the cells to divide? If there’s a reason for that, then what causes the reason for the cells to divide? Then if there’s a reason for that, what causes the reason for the reason for the cells to divide. Down that rabbit hole we go until there is a “we don’t know yet.” Then if they find the answer to that, then what causes that ? See! Miracle!

I think it’s funny that the more science studies the observable world, the more complicated it becomes. It seems that for every answer we find, there are hundreds of new questions. Science is great at finding answers but not THE answer. It keeps searching for “why/how does this happen?” but the answer to that always leads to another question. To think that in an invisible force might be at work in all this doesn’t take a huge leap of faith at all. In fact, it might be the only thing that makes logical sense.

So what caused the first thing? One of the ironclad rules in science is the law of cause and effect. Everything that happens was caused by something. As we go back in time to the creation of the universe, we arrive at a quandary. Either something randomly appeared from nothing (an impossibility), or there is something eternal that caused the first thing to happen. In other words, there has to be something unbound by time that exists.

I am purposefully writing this without using any biblical references. You don’t need a text to tell you God exists, you just need to take a look around. There are countless reasons to believe. Ultimately though, the reason I believe can’t be put into words. When my mind is quiet and all is still, everything becomes crystal clear.

I am in the silence. I am always present. I am in the place where there are no words. I am in the stillness. There you will find me. Quiet your heart. Quiet your mind. Quiet your soul. Only through the emptiness can I fill you up.

About Tabita

Tabita is the Director of HOREB, the school in Cotzal where I will be teaching.  At the close of my dad's latest trip to Guatemala he writes of her:

"Her rock solid resolve to change a community for Jesus Christ is unwavering. Her story is made for TV – growing up without during a savage civil war; daughter of a prominent evangelical pastor who was executed for his beliefs when she was but 15. Beating the odds and escaping the chains of war and oppression. Getting educated in a culture that inhibits opportunity for women. Faced with choices, she defied the norm and decided to return to Cotzal – for the children; to lead the charge to provide a way up through education."

 Read more here.

Blessed is the Man Whose Heart is Set on Pilgrimage

Last night, after our church home group finished up our Bible study, we watched a movie called The Way.  For those that haven't seen it, a man's 40ish old son dies at the beginning of the movie attempting to walk "El Camino de Santiago" between France and Spain.  His father, who never understood his sons traveling ways and was content in his safe life back home, travels to France to recover his body.  Once there he decides to take the pilgrimage himself, spreading his sons ashes on the trail as he goes.  Along the way he meets some interesting characters, all doing the Camino for their own reasons, and they share their journey with each other.

You don't choose a life, you live one.

I would highly recommend this movie to anybody that can sit through a movie without a lot of action.  The purpose of the movie is not to entertain you as much as it is to think about your own life and the journey you are on.  I found myself comparing his walk on the Camino to all of our life walks.  Then this verse came to me:

Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, 

Whose heart is set on pilgrimage. (Psalm 84:5 NKJV)

As we walk down our own paths, people will come and go.  We will find ourselves walking with others, broken as we are, and sharing our lives with them.  There are times where we will need to stop and rest, share a beer with a few people, but the road will call us back.  I think we are all pilgrims whether we know it or not, but are our hearts set on it?  Or are we content in our safe place, not wanting to step back out on to the road?

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith... (Hebrews 12:1-2)
Buen Camino fellow pilgrims.

Checking back in

I know, I know.  I have been very absent from the blogosphere.  So absent, in fact, that I doubt anybody will read this apart from my parents.  Hi mom and dad!  I hope to update more frequently starting today.  I have now finished my coaching commitments and am gearing up for a long stay in Guatemala, 6 months or longer.  I love coaching and it has been so fun being a part of the lives of some awesome kids!  However, it does set my life in a routine of sorts and that routine did not include writing.  But I hope to update about my trip preparation and then plan on updating regularly while in Guatemala.  So check back in! 

Prison Dreaming

One closet hobby I have is making music.  I created this song about two years ago.  It reminds me of being so stuck in a weary routine that you forget who you are and what you were made for.  But in the middle of these times in our lives, we can still catch glimpses of our soul and our dreams if we listen.  Enjoy.  

Prison Dreaming

Romans: Led Astray

For this reason God gave them up to vile passions.  For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.  Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the women, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.  And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them (Romans 1: 26-32).

Paul continues talking about man’s sinfulness.  The Israelites had full knowledge of God’s law, which God revealed to Moses at Mount Sinai.  They disobeyed anyway and were deserving of death.  The Gentiles, while not having specific knowledge of God’s law, still had a knowledge of God through creation but chose not to worship Him as God.  They were all led astray by their lusts, knowing in their hearts that it was sinful, but choosing to satisfy the flesh rather than worship God.  For this reason God gave them up to vile passions.

I will not go over all the sins listed in this section as they speak for themselves.  I will skip ahead to the end of Chapter 1.

Who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

Looking objectively at the world around us, there is nothing more natural than death.  Something is born and then it dies.  Why do human beings then have such a hard time with the concept?  I am 28 years old and in the physical prime of my life.  Honestly, I don’t think about my death too much because I feel like I will live forever.  How does that make sense with so much evidence to the contrary?  Eternal life is wired into my soul because that is what God designed me for.  However, I am deserving of death.  I fall far short of God’s law.  I have lied, so I am a liar.  I have looked at a woman lustfully, so I am an adulterer at heart.  I have coveted.  I have acted out of selfish ambition and approved of those who have done the same.  In short, I have fallen short of God’s law.  God is just and I deserve a penalty.  However, the beauty of this story is that He came down and paid it.  But I can not receive it until I know my own guilt and that I need to be saved.  Would a loving judge pardon a known murderer who believes he did not do anything wrong?  However, if the murderer confesses his crime, breaks down in the court room and acknowledges and believes in his heart that he does not deserve to live, and then the judge pardons him by having his only sinless son whom he loves pay the penalty for the murderer, would not that man be forever thankful?  Would not that man do anything for the judge or his son?  That is a tamed down version to what God has done for us.  That is why it is Good News. 

Anyways, we are getting way ahead of ourselves.

Romans: Pagans Worshiping Idols

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them.  For since the creation of the world, His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. (Romans 1: 18-21)

Before Paul discusses faith and God’s righteousness, first he must discuss the evidence of man’s sinfulness.  He begins by probably referring to the Gentiles.  They had never had any direct revelations of God like the Jews had, but they still had the evidence of creation.  Paul is making a big claim: all creation has knowledge of its Creator.  Although the Gentiles never had the law of Moses, God’s moral code was still manifest in them.  They still had access to God and the choice to glorify Him as God.  Like all men born into sin, however, instead of glorifying Him, they became futile in their thoughts and their foolish hearts were darkened.    

Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man - and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.  Therefore, God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever.  Amen. (Romans 1: 22-25)

Instead of worshipping God, they worshiped idols.  The heart of the matter is, well, the heart.  God is after our hearts.  As numerous verses throughout the entirety of the Bible say, He wants ALL our hearts.  But our hearts tend to be adulterous.  We begin to stray from the Creator and begin to lust after the created things.  We worship a significant other.  We worship money.  We worship ourselves.  We profess to be wise but become fools.  We change the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man…we exchange the truth of God for the lie, and worship and serve the creature rather than the Creator. 

Now I just twisted Paul’s words from the past tense to the present tense.  But let me ask you, don’t believers still do the same things sometimes?  Who here can honestly say they have worshiped God with all their heart, soul, and strength since being saved?  I can’t.  Paul is probably referring to the history of the immoral pagans but it is just as applicable to all humanity today as well.  At a heart level, I still struggle with worshiping and serving the Creator rather than the created.      

Romans: The Just Live by Faith

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.  For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith” (Romans 1: 16-17)

Paul is now done with his introduction and ready to dive in.  He boldly states his thesis: The good news of Christ leads to salvation for everybody who believes and in it the righteousness of God is revealed.  He sums it up by quoting the prophet Habakkuk:

The just shall live by faith. 

Habakkuk writes shortly before the Babylonians destroy Jerusalem.  Habakkuk asks the Lord why He, being pure, allows a wicked nation (Babylon) to devour a nation more righteous (Judah), even though Babylon worships its own military might rather than the Lord.   Here is how the Lord answers:

Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that He may run who reads it.  For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.  Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.  Behold the proud, his soul is not upright in him; but the just shall live by his faith. (Habakkuk 2: 2-4)

The Lord follows this statement by spending the next 15 verses condemning proud Babylon.  I encourage you to read through those verses, a lot it rings true to our culture today as well.

In the context of Habakkuk the proud is referring to the Babylonians but can be extrapolated to refer to all who trust in themselves.  The just on the other hand live their lives in complete faith and dependence on God.  Sometimes I get into the trap of thinking that being just has to do only with good behavior or doing good things.  That is not what the Lord tells Habakkuk and that is certainly not what Jesus teaches.  The problem with this scenario is that I, and not God, receive the glory for the good things I do, fueling my pride.  Whatever good I do should come from my faith in God and not pride in myself. 

Paul will have plenty more to say about faith later. :)

Romans: Praying Without Ceasing

First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world.  For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of His Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers, making request if, by some means, now at last I may find a way in the will of God to come to you.  For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift, so that you may be established - that is, that I may be encouraged together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.  Now I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that I often planned to come to you (but was hindered until now), that I might have some fruits among you also, just as among the other Gentiles.  I am a debtor both to Greeks and barbarians, both to wise and to unwise.  So, as much as is in me, I am ready to preach the gospel to you who are in Rome also. (Romans 1: 8-15)

Seeing as Rome was the most important city in the Roman Empire, I imagine the news of what happened in that city tended to permeate throughout the known world.  Paul has heard about the faith of the Roman saints and he appropriately starts off the letter by thanking God for them. 

Paul without ceasing made mention of the Roman saints in his prayers.  The verses in the Bible (mostly from Paul’s writings) that say pray without ceasing or pray always I find very challenging.  What does that exactly mean anyway?  Should we be talking to God every moment of every day?  Is it possible for Paul to pray for the Roman saints while simultaneously preaching, or while talking to people, or while making tents? 

We are finishing up Ephesians in my Home Group bible study.  After discussing the armor of God to be used for spiritual warfare, we ended with Ephesians 6:18 which reads:

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints…

As we discussed it, we tended to try to soften that verse.  I mean surely he doesn’t really mean praying always.  Right?  Umm, right?  One of our guys made an argument along the lines of: “Well, then how would we do anything else!”  In the following week or two, I thought of this verse from time to time.  I had days when I prayed a lot (but not always) and felt more in the Spirit.  Then, I had days where I felt selfish, empty, and then realized that I had gone through the entire day without really talking to God.  Praying and having a relationship with God is what keeps me on track.  I know this might be a reach but I have begun to think that praying always might just mean…umm…praying always.   I think the reason many of us balk at this is because of our definition of prayer.  We think of prayer as sitting in silence, closing our eyes, and then saying (or thinking) holy sounding things.  How will we get anything done?  I think the key words in the Ephesians 6:18 is in the Spirit.  You can be doing other things in the flesh while praying in the Spirit.  Somehow not all prayer involves human words but comes from the invisible, eternal realm.  To more mature Christians than myself, am I on the right track?  What do you think praying without ceasing means?

In his prayers, Paul makes requests of God to visit Rome.  He wants to give spiritual gifts and encouragement to the church and likewise be encouraged.  He has wanted to visit for a long time but it hasn’t worked out yet.  Paul sees himself as a debtor to both Greeks and the barbarians (who were perceived to be uncivilized because they were not trained in Greek language and culture).  The Lord called Paul a chosen vessel (Acts 9:15) to minister to Gentiles.  Paul feels indebted to them to do so, regardless of their societal position.  He is ready to preach the gospel in Rome.

The introduction of his letter is over.  Now let the teaching begin.               

Romans: Hello, I serve Jesus

Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated to the gospel of God which he promised before through His prophets in the Holy Scriptures, concerning His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who was born of the seed of David according to the flesh, and declared to be the Son of God with power according to the Spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead.  Through Him we have received grace and apostleship for obedience to the faith among all nations to His name, among whom you also are the called of Jesus Christ; To all who are in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 1:1-7)

This is not exactly the “hey, how’s it going?” opening line that I would have used.  Paul has a way of saying so much with so little words.  Each word he uses there is power behind it.  There is no wasted space.  You can’t really skim through his letters without missing boat loads of truths.  What I tend to do with scripture like this is read it fast and then translate in my mind, “okay, he is saying hello.”  It is the lazy way of reading scripture.  Doing so, you can fall in to the trap of wasting time reading without really understand and letting it change your life. 

Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle… (1:1)

I would have just said “This is Jordan.”  I imagine the Church in Rome already knew who Paul was without him describing himself.  We know his good friends Aquila and Priscilla were influential in the church.  Why does he describe himself in this way?  I have two theories.  One is to remind himself of who he is.  Two is to remind others of his authority.  Three is to be a living example for the church.  Four is that it was common for people at that time to write letters in this fashion.  I realize that is four theories but two came to me as I was writing.  Regardless of his reasons, this statement reveals a lot about how Paul thought of himself.  He was a “bondservant” of Christ.  He served Jesus.  That was the core of who he was.  I feel challenged, do I consider my identity: “Jordan, a servant of Jesus?”  

Paul then continues by stating great truths about the gospel (or good news) of Jesus.  These are a loaded few verses.  It was promised by the Prophets before he was born (there are so many references to this in the OT it is ridiculous; here are just a few: Isaiah 9:6-7, 53:1-12, Jeremiah 31:31-34, Ezekiel 36:25-27).  He was born of flesh but was ultimately declared to be the Son of God through His resurrection.  It is through Jesus that believers, including Paul, have received grace.  It was nothing we deserved by works, but it is from Him alone. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. (Ephesians 2: 9-10)

This grace produces obedience to Jesus among all nations.  We have been saved and now we are his witnesses throughout the whole world, including the believers of Rome in 56 A.D. 

 To all who are in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints…

This is the only letter Paul writes in which he addresses the letter to “all.” He is not writing just to the church in Rome or the saints in Rome, or to a particular individual in Rome, but to everybody in Rome!  All who are in Rome (and everybody in the world) are beloved of God and called to be saints.  We are all sinners called to salvation.  He knows the initial audience will be believers but his purposes for this letter are far greater.  That is my theory anyway. 

Paul makes it clear who he is and exactly who he is writing to in relation to the Kingdom of God.  He is a servant of Christ, called to apostleship, and separated to the good news of God.  He writes in obedience to Christ because of the grace given him.  He is writing to a people who are loved by God and called to be separated to Him as well.  He finishes his greeting.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ

And he is just getting warmed up.

Romans: About Rome

Once again, all italics are from the MacCarthur Bible Commentary!

Rome was the capital and most important city of the Roman Empire.  In Paul’s day, the city had a population of over one million people, many of whom were slaves.

Around half the people in Rome were slaves, thus making it likely that around half of the believers that Paul is writing to in this letter were slaves as well.  This Church body is unlike anything we can understand in the United States.  He is writing to a people that are unequal in terms of their place in society but are one in the body of Christ. 

 

Rome boasted magnificent buildings, such as the emperor’s palace, the Circus Maximus, and the Forum, but its beauty was marred by the slums in which so many people lived.

There were some extravagantly wealthy people in Rome (that had many, many slaves) but many of the people lived in extreme poverty. 

It is important to note that the believers that Paul is writing to were faced with persecution daily.  For somebody to claim any other king but Caesar was not tolerated so Christianity was a threat to be removed.  Some believers were fed to the lions in the Coliseum.  Others were crucified.  They met together secretly in houses to avoid arrest (like people do in China and Muslim countries today). 

Paul had long sought to visit the Roman church, but had been prevented from doing so (Romans 1:13).  In God’s providence, Paul’s inability to visit Rome gave the world this inspired masterpiece of gospel doctrine.  Paul’s primary purpose in writing Romans was to teach the great truths of the gospel of grace to believers who had never received apostolic instruction.

Since Paul had never been to Rome, his primary purpose of writing was to teach.  None of the Apostles had been to Rome and they were in need of doctrinal instruction.  However, they were not shooting in the dark either.  They still had good teachers as part of their Church body.  Priscilla and Aquila, a couple of Paul’s disciples, were part of the Roman church at this time (Romans 16:3).  These two worked as tentmakers with Paul at Corinth (Acts 18:1-3), helped mentor early church leader Apollos (Acts 18:26), and also led a house church in Ephesus for a while (1 Corinthians 16:19).

As the preeminent doctrinal work in the New Testament, Romans naturally contains a number of difficult passages.

Oh boy, fun times ahead.  Shall we begin?

 I think it’s important to always study the words of the Bible in its proper context.  You can literally make the Bible say whatever you want it to say if ignoring the contexts in which verses are written.  Now that a little bit of a contextual foundation has been laid, lets start digging into Paul’s wonderfully crafted letter to the Church in Rome! 

Romans: About the Author

The Apostle Paul is the undisputed author of Romans.  The letter was written to the early Christian church in Rome, around 56 AD.  For this entry, all words in italics are taken from the MacCarthur Bible Commentary.

Paul was born about the time of Christ’s birth, in Tarsus, an important city in the Roman province of Cilicia.  He spent much of his early life in Jerusalem as a student of the celebrated rabbi Gamaliel (Acts 22:3).  Like his father before him, Paul was a Pharisee (Acts 23:6), a member of the strictest Jewish sect.

Paul grew up in an important city and was taught under a very respected rabbi among the Pharisees.  Acts 5:34 describes Gamaliel as a “teacher of the law held in respect by all the people.”  Our introduction to Paul in the Bible comes in Acts 7:58.  A man named Stephen, who was among a tiny sect called “the Way,” was being stoned for blasphemy and it records that “the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.”  It is clear that Saul (who later became Paul) was a respected rising star among the religious community of the time and was one of the biggest persecutors of the early Christian church.

Miraculously converted while on his way to Damascus to arrest Christians in that city, Paul immediately began proclaiming the gospel message. (Acts 9)

Conversion seems like too nice a term for what happened to Paul.  He did a complete 180.  He went from being in a place of respect and power among the religious elite to embracing persecution and suffering as a way of life.  He would have been rejected by all those he knew and loved at the time.  Something pretty miraculous must have happened and it did. 

Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.  As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven.  Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ (Acts 9:1-4).

Jesus then told him to go into the city and he would be told what to do.  When Paul opened his eyes, he was blind.  The Lord told a believer named Ananias to go to Saul and put his hands on him so he could receive his sight back.  Having received the vision from the Lord, Ananias then politely responded, “ARE YOU CRAZY!?.”  Okay, that was not his exact response, but pretty close.  Ananias of course obeyed, Paul was baptized, and immediately began preaching Christ.   

After narrowly escaping from Damascus with his life…

Before Acts 9:20 in my NKJV Bible the heading reads: Saul Preaches Christ.  Literally three verses later there is a new heading: Saul Escapes Death.  It is amazing how closely those two things are related, especially in the early church.  The Way was blasphemous and a threat to be removed.  To preach Christ meant to face death and persecution daily.  We forget this in the United States, but there are still places in the world today where “escaping death” still follows “preaching Christ.”  I find it extremely convicting that Christianity spread to the ends of the Earth amidst persecution and torture.  There was nothing convenient about being a Christian in the worldly sense.  If not from God, it would not have lasted.   

 Paul spent three years in Natatean Arabia, southeast of the Dead Sea (Galatians 1:17, 18).  During that time, he received much of his doctrine as direct revelation from the Lord (Galatians 1:11, 12).

The only mention of Paul’s time in Arabia comes from two verses in Galatians.  These are the quiet years of Paul’s Christian life and no doubt was a period in which the Lord shaped him into the man he would become.

More than any other individual, Paul was responsible for the spread of Christianity throughout the Roman Empire.  He made three missionary journeys through much of the Mediterranean world, tirelessly preaching the gospel he had once sought to destroy (Acts 26:9)

Like I said, a complete 180.  The man who could have arguably been called the greatest persecutor of the Way in its earlier years became its greatest missionary.  He planted churches all along the Mediterranean.  This is what happened to him through his efforts (as he records in his second letter to the believers in Corinth):

From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one.  Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journey’s often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness… (2 Corinthians 11: 24-27).

Sounds fun doesn’t it?      

Paul wrote Romans from Corinth toward the close of his third missionary journey (most likely in A.D. 56).

A woman from the Corinthian church in Cenchrea named Phoebe (Romans 16:1) was probably the one who delivered this letter to the Roman church.  Paul was longing to visit them but first he wanted to go minister to the believers in Jerusalem (Romans 15:25).   

He later would be arrested in Jerusalem and was in prison for two years before he appealed his case to Caesar.  After surviving a shipwreck along the way, he would eventually arrive to Rome as a prisoner (Acts 21-28).   

Romans: Introduction

           Over the next few months, I am going to blog about the letter that Paul wrote to the church in Rome around 56 AD.  This sounds incredibly boring but I think if you commit to read each day, and I commit to write each day, it will be a rich experience.  First off, I want to say that I am not a Bible scholar or an expert by any means.  Much of what I write will be personal reflections using the text as a guide.  My only sources will be the Bible (mostly the NKJV) and occasionally the MacArthur Bible commentary to help me gain a greater understanding of the text.

            I honestly don’t know why I am committing so much time to blog about the letter to the Romans.  I feel a sense of wanting to go deeper through this text and writing a series of blog posts forces me to go deep.  I hope this will not be a situation where I blog about scriptural truths and then ignore them as I live my life.  Lord, teach me through your Word.  Give me the courage to not only write about your Word but to live it out. 

            I plan on posting each day of the work week and then writing and praying through it.  If you have comments, feel free to add them.  Like all of you, I am just trying to figure this stuff out.  I am not some super holy Christian dude and if anything I write reeks of self righteousness, I hope you will call me out on it so I can recalibrate.  I am still learning about His grace and it is through our unworthiness that we learn about the greatness of His mercies.  It is all about Him.  So I dedicate this blog series to God, may He speak through me, and may others find Him in these writings, however they come out.       

            I hope some of you take this journey with me and meditate upon the verses of Romans in the coming weeks.

            Tomorrow, we will explore the life and ministry of the author.

God's Beauty in Ixil Country

Made with photos from my 3 months in Guatemala from January to April 2012.  The song is You're Beautiful by Proto Evangelion. 

Fitting our Feet with Readiness

...having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace... (Ephesians 6:15)


I lead a Bible study at my humble apartment and last Sunday we talked about the armor of God as Paul presents at the end of his letter to the Ephesians.  The whole passage reads:


Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints... (Ephesians 6:14-18).


We talked about all these elements and the applications.  This passage is so rich that we could easily spend a month talking about each element of the armor of God that Paul describes.  The part that I had the hardest time wrapping my head around was the part about having to shod your feet with preparation.  What was all that about?  Luckily, some in our bible study use the NIV translation, which in this case I find easier to understand:


...and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace...

And just for fun I will also provide the ESV translation:


...and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace...
It was not until I went on a run through the woods yesterday that I got a glimpse into what it means to fit your feet with readiness.  I had spent the weekend sitting at a swim meet and my body felt icky, it needed a workout.  For some reason I feel a need to stay in great physical shape.  It's not that I am training for anything in particular, I just feel a sense of calling in preparing my body to be ready for whatever might be thrown my way.  If my body is a tool to be used for God's purposes, why would I let it go?  


This has been a difficult period of my life.  Those couple hours per day while I am on deck coaching are fun.  I love being involved in children's lives and being of influence.  But the rest of my time, I feel lost.  What am I supposed to be doing?  Little things I have been involved in since returning from Guatemala involve preparing and giving presentations about my trip, helping a tiny bit with communications for W.I.N.D., editing a yearbook for the children at HOREB, and preparing for a swim event to help bring clean water to a community in Haiti.  Most of that has now ended and it is in this lull that I feel the implications of this verse as I run the hills.


Am I ready?


If God intended to use me, right now, at this moment, for His kingdom purposes, am I ready?  Have I used the good news of His peace to prepare myself?  Am I spiritually disciplined enough to handle tests and temptations that might come my way?  Am I living my life in His spirit even in the dull times in my life?  Have I given my body over to him, disciplining it, presenting my body as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is my reasonable service? (Romans 12:1)  


When our lives feel boring and comfortable, it is at this time when it becomes of the utmost importance to fit our spiritual feet with readiness.  We must prepare because God may choose to use us at any time.  Our minds and our bodies must be given over to Him and we must be ready at any moment.  


At the end of Paul's life, as he was facing his death in a Roman dungeon, he wrote to his disciple Timothy,


Preach the word!  Be ready in season and out of season... (2 Timothy 4:2)


We must be ready at all times.  Let not the lulls of life lead us away from the Lord.  We must not drift.  We must stay ready, no matter the season of our life.  






  

Frodo and the Problem of Evil

Another excerpt from Nate Wilson as quoted in the March 10th edition of WORLD magazine.

Could you, if you were Frodo the hobbit, raise the problem of evil to Tolkien?  Frodo might say, and this is a traditional postulation, Tolkien is either bad at writing, or evil.  Or option three, he doesn´t exist.  Does that argument hold water?  Can Frodo look at his reality and say, of the author, "there either isn´t one, or he sucks, or he's really evil?"

That´s what the philosophers give us.  But we look at Frodo and we can say, "You idiot...the evil is here to be beaten!  It´s here to be overcome!  It's here to be broken - break it!  Go throw the ring in the volcano!  Don't sit there and look at it and say, ´there is no Tolkien, because if there was, how could such an evil exist?"'

Living in a Fantasy World

From Author Nate Wilson, as excerpted in March 10th edition of WORLD magazine:

I want kids to realize that they live in a fantasy world: they should not finish a novel and think, "Now back to my unmagical, boring existence."  This world is crazy.  The grass outside is made out of thin air by sunlight.  Heat from a ball of fire in the sky turns into carbon dioxide, air grabs some heat from the sun and rips the carbon out and makes itself a leaf.  It's not made out of dirt, it's made out of thin air.  We're on a ball of rock flying at Mach 86 around a ball of fire in the sky, right now, just around and around.


Imagine describing to Frodo (from Lord of the Rings) how we fly around, in a steel tube the size of school buses, and then we have this vapor our alchemists make, and you light a match to it.  We sit in this steel tube, and somebody stands up front and says, 'buckle up,' we strap in, and then we light that stuff and we go whipping through the sky, six miles up.  We hurtle along, hop a continent, and then I get off.  I tell Frodo that, then I say, "Man, I wish I lived in a fantasy land that is magical like yours."

Now Fully Present in the United States

I don’t know why, but I feel like my first day back coaching was yesterday even though I have been coaching for two weeks.  There has been a part of me that has been going through the motions.  Coaching swimming feels second nature to me, kind of like driving a car.  It is not like I was not doing my job but I never felt fully invested.  Some of the children were excited to see me when I returned but a part of me still felt numb.  I was not yet adjusted back to my old life in this now strange land.  Yesterday, I was 100% in the moment and it felt great.  While I had physically seen the kids the past two weeks, I don’t feel like I actually saw them until today.  I feel the Lord calling me to go back to Guatemala.  At the same time, in this moment of my life, I know I am supposed to be right here in the United States.  The Lord has given me this wonderful opportunity to be a positive role model in the lives of many children.  Why would I waste it by not being fully present? 

Lord, take away all distractions from my head and help me be fully present.  Help me to love the way that You love, to be willing to lay my life down for another.  Lead me in teaching and in integrity.  Lord, may Your light be reflected in the way I live my life for Your glory, always.

A Celebration to Remember

Thank you all who came to celebrate 5 years for WIND of God Ministries!  It was overwhelming seeing so many people who supported and prayed for me while I was in Guatemala in one room together.  It is so humbling to think of how many people were supporting me through prayer and whatever good God used me to do, I realize now that the people in that room were a huge part of it and were right there alongside me.  Thank you! 

How have I grown?

I sit here in transition mode.  This is only my second full day back at my apartment and I begin coaching tomorrow.  It feels completely normal and completely strange at the same time.  The world here is still exactly the same as when I left but I feel so different.  It feels like this place should have changed as much as I have the past three months.  I am a new person entering back into an old routine.  How does one do that?

I have spent my time thus far visiting with family: first on Lopez Island then in Yakima.  On my way back home, I stopped in Ellensburg to visit my cousin Ashley.  We had a brief visit and she got straight to the point.  Her first question she asked me is ¨What has been the biggest change in you after completing the trip?¨  It is hard to put into words.  I know the Lord has changed me and helped me grow through the experience but I can not exactly quantify what that is.  Words always feel so limiting in explaining soul issues. 

Growth happens whenever you go out of your comfort zone and choose to rely on God.  Instead of waking up and going through motions, I woke up and thanked the Lord for another day.  Whenever I felt a twinge of fear, I just put my life in His hands.  There were times walking down the dark streets of Nebaj, with drunks stumbling around, when I asked Him, ¨Lord, if you do not have any use for me, you can take me now but if You still have a use for me in this life, protect me.¨ As I prayed this prayer many times in my time there, I felt a sense of purpose each day that God gave me.  I was alive for a reason, a truth that was always there, but which I just began realizing. 

I was also taken aback by how much God provided for me while I was there.  First, there were the amazing supporters at home.  My goal was to raise $2,000 and $3,000 came in.  After only spending $1,500, I am pleased to say that the rest will go the school where I was working!  I came down to Guatemala really without much of a plan.  The Lord provided transportation to Nebaj through an Agros worker.  Then in Nebaj, He provided abundantly.  I don’t know what my trip would have looked like without Domingo, Kara, and Mark.  I met Domingo on my 2^nd day in Nebaj and he shared his ministries with me.  When he told me about the coffee shop ministry that he was planning, something sparked my interest.  As we went there and he was explaining the vision to me, I felt strongly the Holy Spirit leading me to stay there.  So they put a bed in a room in the corner and I was set.    

I shared much fellowship time with Domingo and Kara.  I ate at their house many, many times.  We played cards late into the night.  We had devotions together as they were preparing their coffee shop to open.  They opened their lives to me.  Mark was down for two months helping them out at the same time period that I was there.  We had several great conversations and went on a few adventures together.  They really helped keep me grounded and I know it was of the Lord’s doing.

In Cotzal, the people there were so hospitable and once again God provided abundantly.  Josue’s family went above and beyond.  I had lunch with their family most days of the week and spent the night at their house a few times.  It was known that I had an open invitation to their house.  I had lunch with Horeb Director Tabita nearly every Wednesday that I was there as well.

God provides and He knows your needs.  Sometimes it takes stepping out into the unknown and giving up control of your life to realize it.

The other thing that changed me was enmeshing myself into another culture.  I did not have a car, so I took the microbus everywhere, crammed in the van with 25 Guatemalans.  I ate inside people’s home, I taught at a school, and I walked among them.  I became good friends with a couple of the teachers at Horeb, which is astonishing considering our vast cultural differences.  On a surface level we do not have much in common, but on a soul level, God made us all and we are all His children.  This helps you realize just how vast and diversified God’s people are. 

My friends in Guatemala are constantly on my mind.  I pray for them and I know they pray for me too.  It is so exhilarating to feel part of His church on a global scale.  I think this journey helped me to realize just how vast and grand His church is.  It is one thing to know intellectually and another to know based on experience.  I am so excited to worship alongside all the nations in heaven.  There is something so amazing about having people so different from you worshiping and praying to the same never changing Lord.  How great and vast are His people!   

I have yet to mention all the children I taught.  I just love serving and offering my life for them.  They are a special group of kids.  On my last day, we stood in a circle, and one by one they came and brought gifts to me.  They were so appreciative and I was so humbled.  God used them to continue softening my heart.

Another thing I learned is that the life of a missionary is no different from the life of anybody else in the sense that people who serve as missionaries still stumble.  They still fall short.  They still have moments where they say or do the wrong thing and have to repent.  They are definitely not people to be idolized but people to be constantly praying for.  They are not more holy than anybody else.  As is seen throughout the Bible, God uses broken people.  It is God doing the work and if we let Him, He will use us.  We are the paintbrush in the hands of a skillful painter and the paintbrush has no right to boast.  Likewise, don’t praise the paintbrush for the wonderful work, praise the painter!

Anyway, I feel all this is only a glimpse into how I have changed, but that is all I have got right now. :)

Lesson 11: Less is More

 How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!  How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations!  For you have said in your heart: “I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation on the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.”  Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol, to the lowest depths of the Earth. (Isaiah 14: 12-15)

The devil seeks to replace God.  He seeks to lift himself high.  It makes me reflect, in what ways am I like the devil?  In what ways do I try to lift myself higher?  Throughout history, as is recorded in the Bible, God constantly brings down those who delight in high things.  However, the poor and needy are God’s people.  A little later in the same chapter of Isaiah, it is written:

The Lord has founded Zion, and the poor of His people shall take refuge in it (Isaiah 14:32)

Over and over again in the Bible, the pattern becomes clear.  The Lord saves the poor and the needy and He brings down the rich and the prideful.

Those of high stature will be hewn down, and the haughty will be humbled. (Isaiah 10:33)

 Jesus says:

Blessed are you poor, for Yours is the kingdom of God.  Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be filled.  Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.  Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you, and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of Man’s sake.  Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!  For indeed your reward is great in heaven, for in like manner their fathers did to the prophets.

But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation.  Woe to you who are full, for you shall hunger.  Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.  Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for so did their fathers to the false prophets. (Luke 6: 20-26)

Does that mean it is wrong to be rich, wrong to be full?  There is a difference between using riches for yourself or using it to bless others.

In my favorite Psalm, David, a man after God’s own heart, tells of the attitude we should have with the Lord.  Keep in mind that David is extravagantly rich and not only powerful, but king of Israel at the time.  However, he did not strive for it, but the Lord blessed him with it.

Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty, Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me.  Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. (Psalm 131: 1-2)

Ultimately, it is our hearts that God is concerned about.  How can we stop striving for riches?  How can we stop striving for power?  How can we stop striving for greatness?  How can we cultivate an attitude like David’s and be content with lowliness and our complete dependence on God?

After the disciples argued about who was the greatest, Jesus says something very profound:

And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. (Mark 10:44)

In the Kingdom of God, the lowest are the greatest.  The poorest are the richest.  The needy are the most filled. 

Striving for riches is not the answer.  Striving to do great things for God is not the answer.  Striving to be the most holy is not the answer.  God does not need us to carry out His plan.  To think that somehow God’s plan hangs in the balance over our decisions is extremely egocentric.  I have been guilty of that, worrying about somehow disrupting His plan for my life.  God’s plan will come to pass with or without our help.  If he doesn’t use us, He will use somebody else or miraculously make it happen.

We need to stop striving for greatness and instead depend on God and surrender to His will.

A men.